Chapter Seven: Mudbloods and Murmurs
In chapter seven of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry continues to be tormented by the trio of nuisances: Gilderoy Lockhart, Colin Creevey, and Draco Malfoy, and only two of them are funny.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Poor Harry is now spending a good deal of his time hiding from Lockhart and saying hi to his new stalker, Colin Creevey.
But now he’s also got to deal with another one of the reasons I find Chamber of Secrets so funny: Oliver Wood’s ongoing multi-book obsession with winning the Quidditch cup. I have a genuine adoration of a good running gag, and I’ve always found Wood criminally underrated as a source of amusement in the stories. I always loved Wood, and that was before we even found out he was being played by this guy in the films
Colin shows Harry the photo of him with Lockhart, and I sit around wishing that they had brought back Colin in the movies instead of “Nigel” the combo of him and Dennis Creevey that shows up in movie four. Why didn’t they bring Colin back? It’s not like we don’t have other Harry Potter characters who disappear for a movie or two or four in the case of Dobby and then reappear.
Harry refuses to sign the photo, and I wonder if Harry Potter ever signs a photo of himself in the future, maybe for a kid or charity, or is this a line he never crosses?
Scene
Harry: *Signs a photo for a young fan. Wakes up in a cold sweat midway through the night.*
Ginny: What is it, honey? Were you having a nightmare about Voldemort again?
Harry: No…worse. Far worse. I dreamed I had turned into Gilderoy Lockhart.
Ginny: *hushed whisper* No.
Harry: *Sobs. Sees a peacock quill in the corner of the room* Noooooo!
Wood amuses me and also triggers some old high school trauma of mine
when he talks to his team about his new game plan while they all slowly fall asleep, just like my boring and terrible physics teacher used to do. As much as I love him and admire his zeal, I still have to ask: is Wood even a good coach? He’s zealous, yes, we could say overzealous in his dedication, but a good coach would maybe notice his team is literally sleeping through his coaching.
But let’s be real, he’s got to be better then Marcus Flint, who continues the grand Slytherin tradition of sucking by not even having girls on the Slytherin team, a sexist pattern we will see the Slytherins continue even though the Gryffindors keep beating them with their girl ridden team.
Also we need to talk about how Snape’s note giving permission to Slytherin to practice overriding Hooch’s rules and Gryffindor’s practice might hint at the REAL RIVALRY in these books: Snape vs. Hooch. What’s going on there? How many times does Snape get to ref in her place, or write notes overtaking her wishes? All I know is, there is some drama there. Drama and…revenge.
So the Slytherin’s with their new seeker D-Malfs insult our Gryffindors and Hermione gets off one of her best one liners
and we get our first intro to Mudbloods and the real plot of the books, blood supremacy and bigotry when Malfoy insults Hermione in retaliation. J.K Rowling as usual shows that being rich is not better then being poor, another important theme, and I also wonder if Malfoy did actually buy his way onto the Slytherin team or not.
Colin tries to take a picture of Ron vomiting slugs and I cherish further how funny almost every character is in this book.
We get our first talk of the Defense Against the Dark Arts job being jinxed, and we’ll delve into this later but I have some questions about this curse.
One of our first movie injustices for Ron, where he doesn’t get to explain Mudbloods and instead Hermione does and he explains blood legacy to us, one of the only scenes in movie two I think they got wrong. #JusticeForMovieRon
McGonagall tells Ron and Harry their punishment for the flying car incident, trophy polishing and Lockhart enduring, neither of which is going into the forbidden forest and getting eaten and no I will not let this go.
Lockhart wins a further place in my heart when he continuously lectures Harry during his detention about lessons on fame in the most obnoxious manner possible
Harry hears the basilisk (or at this point to him, a strange, murderous disembodied voice) and we find out hes been in Lockhart’s office four fucking hours my god why is Hogwarts so inappropriate with their detentions?!
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Why are there no girls on the Slytherin Quidditch team?
Is Oliver Wood a good Quidditch coach?
How did you feel about Ron getting to be the one to explain “Mudbloods” in the book vs. Hermione explaining it in the movies?
Did Malfoy buy his way onto the team?
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