Chapter Three: The Knight Bus
In chapter three of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry officially meets Cornelius Fudge, impersonates Neville, and almost barfs up his hot chocolate. Or maybe that last one would’ve been just me on the Knight Bus.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
So our boy Harry has just blown up his grotesquely awful “Aunt” Marge, and is on the run, presuming he’s about to get expelled from Hogwarts and potentially arrested since he’s performed underage magic, and last time magic happened at Privet Drive he was threatened. Of course, our poor innocent Harry has no idea how corrupt and easily swayed politicians are, so he thinks those threats will of course come true! Silly Harry. Fudge will teach him better, very soon.
Harry comes up with a rather wild plan that is nevertheless not horrible when you consider he’s got about a million emotions running through him and the fact that he’s thirteen, but he catches sight of a dog that’s not at all his godfather in the form of an illegal Animagus and trips, accidentally summoning the Knight Bus. The Knight Bus, a vehicle that I’m positive would give me a wicked case of motion sickness complete with a conductor out of a Monty Python sketch
is nevertheless a really handy form of transportation, no? Just wave your wand hand around, and then you’re on your way anywhere you want, as long as it’s on land.
Harry has one of his Slytherin sneaky streaks of brilliance and insists he’s Neville Longbottom to Stan and Ernie, the Knight Bus employees, who thoughtfully provide Harry with some exposition about the Knight Bus and Sirius Black, the escaped convict Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were discussing previously. Before we get to Sirius, let’s touch on the weirdness of the Knight Bus. Let’s ignore that it’s invisible to Muggles, able to squeeze in and out of small spaces like silly putty. What I want to know is the logistics of the stops. Harry throws out his hand, the bus shows up almost immediately, and Stan says they were just in Wales. Nerding out a bit, Wales to Surrey is roughly a little less then 200 miles. So why can’t the bus just do a bang and drop off Harry in London in just a minute or two? Maybe the stops go in order of who got on when?
Or perhaps we just had to wait for the sweet, sweet exposition to end? I’m not complaining, I actually like this chapter, but I’ve always asked too many questions. Moving on!
So Harry spots the newspaper article about Sirius Black, alleged Voldemort supporter who killed 13 people with one curse, and I must ask…is Avada Kedavra really the worst curse wizards have? Sure, it kills people instantly with no way to stop it *coughunlessyou’reLilyEvanssavingyourchildcough* but whatever curse Peter used, it killed thirteen people. At once. We never hear what this curse is, but whatever it is, it’s nasty.
So we find out “Sirius” kills thirteen people and is sent straight to Azkaban laughing madly, and no one worry (everyone: we weren’t worried crazy lady) we will one hundred percent talk more about how Sirius gets effed mightily by the justice system in future chapters.
Speaking of corrupt people who helped screw an innocent man, Cornelius Fudge reappears, breaks “Neville’s” cover, and pretends like Harry has been up to lovable hijinks by blowing up Marge and acts very “boys will be boys!”
Harry, bless his sassy heart, refuses to let this slide after Dobby dropping a pudding almost got him expelled the year before, but Fudge does his best to act weird and suspicious and continues to lie about how it’s not a big deal that Harry blew his stack at a hideous troll woman and turned her into the Goodyear Blimp.
Proving for the sixty-second time so far this series that he’s really a Gryffindor, Harry then decides to ask the Minister of Magic for permission to go to Hogsmeade. I repeat, Harry Potter asks the Minister of Magic to sign his guardian permission form the first time he meets him after blowing up his aunt and running away.
Harry how I love you, never change!
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Do you want to take the Knight Bus?
How does the Knight Bus’s travel really work?
In your opinion, what is the worst magic curse in the books?
Would you have asked Cornelius Fudge to sign your permission slip?
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