A Harry Potter Reread: The Prisoner of Azkaban Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: The Boggart in the Wardrobe

In chapter seven of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry fears fear, Neville gets bullied worse then ever, Remus Lupin is amazing, and Malfoy and Snape race to be the most horrible character in this chapter.

(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)

We open our chapter with Malfoy swaggering around like the little ball of bleached slime he is, as if not listening in class, getting attacked by a magical creature that Harry Potter rode around like a badass minutes before and whimpering like a wuss is something to be proud of. I feel like the Slytherins let Malfoy get away with a lot of stuff that would’ve gotten anyone else mercilessly bullied.

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Snape proceeds to prove that no matter how much people like quoting “Always” and calling him a hero due to later revelations, he’s still comprised of 80% bully and 10 % greasy hair. (The last 10 % is of course, “Lily Evans stalker who does some brave shit on the down low.”)

Let’s count the ways Snape sucks in this chapter, shall we?

1. Sets different standards for students: Malfoy prances in late with no repercussion, while Harry would’ve gotten at least six “Pottah” sneers and points taken.
2. Makes Ron help Malfoy, taking time away from Ron’s potion over an injury that was Malfoy’s own fault.
3. Forces Ron to give Malfoy his better ingredients.
4. Bullies Neville relentlessly, including threatening him with potentially killing his pet toad.
5. Bullies Hermione for daring to offer to help a classmate (Neville) who needs some extra tutoring.
6. Continues his bullying of Neville into a new class and Professor, in an attempt to taint another class of Neville’s and humiliate him further
7. Takes points from Gryffindor with absolutely no proof Hermione actually helped Neville with his potion.

Malfoy and Snape race to the bottom of which of them sucks more when Malfoy sits next to Ron and Harry solely to torment them about Hagrid getting fired over something that wasn’t even his fault over an injury Malfoy is clearly faking. As hard as he tries, Snape is still clearly the Biggest Slytherin Toad Licker Contest of 1993, even when Malfoy brings up Sirius Black, and how Harry must clearly want revenge on him.

So wait, hold up:

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We never find out, but how much of the “truth” about Sirius Black does Malfoy know? He clearly is aware that he’s Harry’s godfather and betrayed the Potters, because why else would he ask Harry if he’s out for revenge against Black? Why would he taunt him about this? Yet, we know Malfoy is the son of a Death Eater, and is often given information like the Chamber of Secrets being open 50 years before. He doesn’t get to know who exactly opened it, but he still knows something. So did dear old Lucifer Malfs tell Draco about his  mother’s cousin being innocent?

Hermione starts showing more suspicious behavior when she disappears after class and reappears in an entirely different spot due to her extra full *cough* schedule, and its here I wonder how previous years students managed all of their courses without a Time Turner? Hermione is taking 12 different subjects in third year, while Harry and Ron are taking 9. But we also heard that Percy, Bill, and later on we hear that Barty Crouch, Jr. all received 12 O.W.L.S each. Did they all get a time turner as well? Or did they sit subject O.W.L.S. that they didn’t take a class on?

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Moving on, solely because moving on means REMUS LUPIN. I repeat, it’s a REMUS LUPIN SIGHTING!

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Lupin starts off his first lesson by thrilling his students with a practical lesson instead of a book lesson, shoots gum at the irritating Peeves, and shuts down Snape when he tries to bully Neville in the most adult yet epic way possible.

Lupin has decided to have Neville be his assistant in showing the class how to defeat a Boggart, a creature that takes the shape of the thing you most fear. You must then make your fear into something funny, or “Riddikulus.” Neville’s biggest fear is something really tragic, in that it’s SNAPE, you know, his professor who’s supposed to be guiding him and mentoring him and man really, FUCK SNAPE. And I don’t let Dumbledore off the hook for putting this terrible man in charge of impressionable teens and kids because he did a few noble things. Basically, I’ll let Stannis Baratheon handle this my thoughts on this one:

Anyway, so Lupin’s teaching the class in a hands on fashion, and while Neville’s boggart is epic and I dearly want it in funko pop form but cannot afford it

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I’m REALLY glad that Crimes of Grindelwald had a scene that touched on my thoughts on this lesson. Mild spoilers follow for those who haven’t seen the film, so please scroll!

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Spoilers: In the movie, Dumbledore is for some reason teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts instead of Transfiguration and he has an identical lesson involving a boggart and the Riddikulus spell. In that scene, one of the characters’s boggart is revealed as something adult and tragic.

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End Spoilers

I’ve often thought Lupin took a huge gamble that all of his students would have childish fears like mummies and banshees instead of horrible, traumatizing adult fears like a parent beating them or worse, childhood molestation. In fact, he sees Harry and clearly has a moment of “oh shit Voldemort’s about to appear” and stops it.

But I don’t want you to think I’m disparaging my King, REMUS LUPIN.

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He teaches a hands on, well thought out, interesting lesson, bolsters everyone’s self esteem but especially Neville’s, and saves Harry from what he assumes will be a very traumatic event by potentially exposing his own secret and deepest fear.

 

However, Harry’s really wise and what he fears most of all is in fact…fear itself, a dementor, not Voldemort.

It’s one of those times that I relate most to Harry.

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Does Malfoy know the whole truth about Sirius Black? Or just that he betrayed Harry’s parents?

How come the Slytherins don’t laugh at Malfoy for milking his injury?

Why does Dumbledore let Snape get away with bullying so many of his students?

How did Percy, Bill, and Barty Crouch Jr. get 12 O.W.L.S?

What are your thoughts on the “Riddikulus” lesson?

If you want to share, what would your boggart be?

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