Chapter Twelve: The Patronus
In chapter twelve of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry practices fighting a dementor, Ron and Hermione continue their cold war, and Oliver Wood doesn’t care if Harry potentially dies as long as he catches the snitch.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Our trio are all pretty annoying this chapter, there’s really no other way to say it. Ron and Harry are mad at Hermione about the Firebolt incident and Hermione is refusing to say that she did anything wrong, so of course they’re avoiding each other because torching a two and a half year friendship over a broom makes sense.
Trelawney appears to be trying to scare Harry to literal death with her continued campaign of informing him about his “short life lines” and other ominous proclamations, and Trelawney, what are you doing, lady? Are you trying to actively kill one of your students?
Hermione’s smugly tells Ron that it’s obvious what’s wrong with Remus CoughWEREWOLFcough and really I can’t be on anyone’s side in this feud at this point because they all insist on being so dang aggravating. It does make me wonder just how many other people, if any, figured out that Remus is a werewolf at this point.
Harry has a depressing dementor lesson with REMUS LUPIN wherein he hears his mother screaming and dying again and also hears James telling Lily to run with Harry. Lupin reveals that he was friends with James at this point and Harry asks him about Sirius, and gets his head suspiciously bitten off for asking. Subtle, Lupin!
I can’t help but be impressed with Harry’s determination here. He has a goal in mind, to be able to play Quidditch without the dementors affecting him, and he’s willing to put himself through some very terrible moments over and over again to achieve it.
But pause in our serious talks, it’s time for Oliver Wood to amuse me with his single minded, never ending obsession to win the Quidditch Cup!
― Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Look I know we can’t have everything in the movies (which is why this should’ve been a multi episode per season tv show on say, HBO!) but tell me Wood’s ongoing fanaticism for winning at Quidditch wouldn’t have been a wildly amusing running joke in the movies! Alas, with all adaptations one of the first things to go is moments of whimsy and humor.
REMUS LUPIN continues to train Harry on dementor repelling and we learn how the final punishment a dementor inflicts is a “kiss” that sucks out your soul and HOLY SHIT why don’t wizards just do a humane “Avada Kedavra” instead?! Sucking out a person’s SOUL for EVER is a thousand times more fucked up then just death! Remus kind of gently argues this to Harry but he’s hyped up on hatred of Sirius Black and doesn’t agree.
McG gives Harry back his firebolt, and Harry decides to stop being a whiny baby about Hermione and tries to make up with her. Hermione’s having a hardcore melt from her billion course loud schedule
but she seems amenable to Harry’s overtures until Ron flips his wig and accuses Crookshanks of murdering Scabbers in front of the entirety of Gryffindor. You guys, not Peter!
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Would you want a multi episode per season high budget tv show adaptation of Harry Potter?
Do you think any student besides Hermione knows that Remus is a werewolf at this point?
Does anyone deserve the dementor’s kiss?
How come Remus doesn’t tell Harry more about James at this point?
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