Chapter Fourteen: Snape’s Grudge
In chapter fourteen of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry is reckless, Malfoy gets hit with slime, and Snape gets roasted by the Marauder’s Map.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
After the events of last chapter Ron’s now famous as The-Boy-Who-Was-Attacked-By-Sirius-Black, and we get our second glimpse that Ron is just a little desirious of fame (our first of course, being the Mirror of Erised) with the relish in which he retells the tale.
Ron brings up a good point to Harry, wondering why Black ran away from Ron instead of killing him and then moving on to Harry, and it’s a suspicious moment that even Harry acknowledges.
McG’s made one of her trademark punishments for Neville leaving out the passwords by banning him from Hogsmeade, giving him detention, and forbidding anyone to give him the password to the tower and DAMN McGonagall! Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Flint could’ve potentially killed Harry by scaring him into falling off his broom and they only got points and detention!
As if Neville hasn’t suffered enough, his grandmother sends him a Howler and everyone in Slytherin laughs at him and man does Neville suffer in this series! It just makes you want to give him a hug.
Hagrid invites our boys down to his hut for tea and while Ron is deluded into thinking he wants to hear about Sirius attacking him, Hagird DGAF about Ron’s potential murder and proceeds to make our boys feel bad by reminding them that Buckbeak needs help and oh yeah, maybe don’t act like little jerks to your friend over small things.
I don’t think Hagrid gets enough credit for his wisdom. His heart, yes, his loyalty to Harry, his love of animals…but Hagrid’s got some wisdom, as well!
“I’m not blamin’ yeh!” said Hagird, waving Harry’s apology aside. “Gawd knowsn yeh’ve had enough ter be gettin’ on with. I’ve seen yeh practicin’ Quidditch ev’ry hour o’ the day an’ night–but I gotta tell yeh, I thought you two’d value yer friend more’n broomsticks or rats. Tha’s all.”
But let’s backtrack a little to this moment that never registered to me before:
“(Buckbeak) an’ me’ll be goin’ down ter London together. I’ve booked two beds on the Knight Bus…”
Ok legit, Hagrid just said he’s booked a BED on the KNIGHT BUS for BUCKBEAK. Who is a HIPPOGRIFF.
Can you just visualize Hagrid rolling up to the Knight Bus with a Hippogriff?! How will they even fit? Does Buckbeak get hot cocoa? Does he have pjs? I’m now obsessed with this!
Anyway, Ron and Harry are feeling a bit guilty about the Hermione thing but then she goes and ruins it by telling Harry she’ll report him to McG (and risk a death detention!) if he goes to Hogsmeade again. Ron’s riled up and Harry agrees to try to sneak off, when Neville comes along to cloak block Harry by asking him for homework help since they’re both trapped in the castle. It’s at this incredibly awful moment that Snape appears and finds two students talking about homework suspicious (???) because apparently Snape’s been spending too much time around the sneaky Slytherin kids.
Harry flat out lies to Neville to shake him off which, let’s admit it, is rather shitty but Harry’s not exactly covering himself in glory this chapter, is he? Our little delinquents, PotzWeaz, wander around Hogsmeade until they spot the opportunity to troll Malfoy and take it, because, wouldn’t you?!
Alas, Harry’s cloak slips when Crabbe accidentally steps on it, and Malfoy sees Harry’s floating head and does a patented Malfoy scream ‘n run, presumably writing this song in his head while he runs.
Harry hauls ass back to Hogwarts and runs into Snape right away, leading to one of my favorite savage moments in all of Harry Potter, which, for some reason, was shortened in the movies.
But back up a little, because before this glorious moment, my king, Sassy Harry’s back!
Mr. Malfoy then saw an extraordinary apparition. Can you imagine what it might have been, Potter?”
“No,” said Harry, now trying to sound innocently curious.
“It was your head, Potter. Floating in midair.”
There was a long silence.
“Maybe he’d better go to Madam Pomfrey,” said Harry. “If he’s seeing things like—”
“What would your head have been doing in Hogsmeade, Potter?” said Snape softly. “Your head is not allowed in Hogsmeade. No part of your body has permission to be in Hogsmeade.”
“I know that,” said Harry, striving to keep his face free of guilt or fear. “It sounds like Malfoy’s having hallucin—”
Snape’s gotta get some digs in on James because the guy dying at 21 heroically trying to save his wife and kid isn’t punishment enough for Snape.
“How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter,” Snape said suddenly, his eyes glinting. “He too was exceedingly arrogant. A small amount of talent on the Quidditch field made him think he was a cut above the rest of us, too. Strutting around the place with his friends and admirers… The resemblance between you is uncanny.”
“My dad didn’t strut,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “And neither do I.”
“Your father didn’t set much store by rules either,” Snape went on, pressing his advantage, his thin face full of malice. “Rules were for lesser mortals, not Quidditch Cup winners. His head was so swollen—”
But Harry’s had enough of this shit, is two seconds from blowing Snape up like Aunt Marge, and tells Snape to shut his greasy mouth. Snape gets even more riled up and lets loose with the truth of James’s supposed saving of Snape when they were teens:
“I would hate for you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,” he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. “Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you—your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.”
Stick a pin in this, because this is an important moment we’ll return to later.
Snape tries to read the map and that’s when it happens. One of the most perfect moments in Harry Potter. Prepare thyself.
View this post on Instagram
I’m sorry, but this entire sequence between Snape and Harry is so perfect it borders on the sublime. Just when you think it can’t get better, a wild REMUS LUPIN appears, and Lupin gets shoved into the super weird position of having to pretend he has no idea what the map is (when he created it) who the Marauders are (when he is one) and how Harry got it (ok this one he genuinely doesn’t know.)
Lupin brilliantly covers for Harry and it’s here I wonder why Snape didn’t just call out Lupin. How well known are the nicknames of the Marauders? How sure is Snape that Lupin is Moony? Because I find it hard to believe if he knew the Marauders double identities Snape wouldn’t go postal at Lupin, even with Harry there.
Ron shows up to claim that he bought the map for Harry, our duo escapes Snape’s wrath, and Lupin lets loose with a far worse punishment: disappointment from an adult you admire.
Don’t expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them — gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.
It’s completely true, and a completely devastating observation for Harry to hear. He is gambling his life and safety over gallivanting around Hogsmeade and taunting Malfoy. He is risking expulsion, and dementors finding him sneaking about, and the threat of what everyone thinks is a murderer. Lupin is right, but also clearly something is off. Why does Lupin cover for Harry? Why is he so angry? Guilt? Worry?
Just to add to Harry’s low feelings, Hermione shows up to tell PotzWeaz that Hagrid’s pajama party with Buckbeak was for naught, because he lost the appeal and Buckbeak’s gong to be executed. As usual, the Ministry sucks.
<—Previous Chapter Next Chapter —>
Join in with your thoughts below, on twitter, or instagram with #ReadHarryPotterWithMe. Follow me on my twitter @HSecretLibrary, pinterest, and my instagram @hermionessecretlibrary
Is Neville punished too harshly for leaving the password around?
How do Hagrid and Buckbeak fit on the Knight Bus?
Why does Lupin cover for Harry?
How come Snape doesn’t go more postal at the map’s insults at him?
Read all of my Harry Potter reviews here!
Picture taken near Linderhof Castle, Germany. Send me/tag me in your pics of you reading Harry Potter!