Chapter Seventeen: Cat, Rat, and Dog
In chapter seventeen of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry and Hermione battle a tree, Ron’s heroism gets stolen by a scriptwriter, and Sirius and Remus act as suspicious as humanly possible.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Buckbeak’s just been “executed”, Ron is running after the newly resurrected Scabbers, and Padfoot has shown up to bite Ron and drag him under the Whomping Willow, breaking his leg in the process and LOOK SIRIUS MISTAKES WERE MADE BY YOU HERE.
Hermione and Harry aren’t Gryffindors for no reason (take that, people who think Hermione should’ve been in Ravenclaw!) and although the Whomping Willow smacks the shit out of them
Crookshanks helps sneak them in and they make their way into a dark passageway underground, where they have no idea where it goes, and at the end is an alleged mass murderer. Never let it be said that the trio is not ride or die brave for each other.
PotzGrange makes their way into what they realize is the Shreiking Shack and find Ron moaning in pain on a bed. Ron, who I love dearly, instead of immediately screaming “Sirius Black is behind you duck and disarm him” does this instead:
On a magnificent four poster bed with dusty hangings lay Crookshanks, purring loudly at the sight of them. On the floor beside him, clutching his leg, which stuck out at a strange angle, was Ron.
Harry and Hermione dashed across to him.
“Ron—are you okay?”
“Where’s the dog?”
“Not a dog,” Ron moaned. His teeth were gritted with pain. “Harry, it’s a trap—”
“What—”
“He’s the dog… he’s an Animagus.”
Ron was staring over Harry’s shoulder. Harry wheeled around. With a snap, the man in the shadows closed the door behind them.
Ron, in your own words…
So Sirius acts like an idiot, part a million. After disarming Harry and Hermione instead of oh, explaining what’s going on, he says a number of suspicious things that sounds like he’s taunting Harry about his dead parents and is about to kill them all and AGAIN SIRIUS MISTAKES WERE MADE.
After almost three solid movies of using Ron mainly as comedic relief, we finally get a moment where he bravely stands up to a mass murdering lunatic to protect Harry and–wait, what was that?
Steve Kloves I know Hermione is your favorite but how dare you do Ron this dirty! Ron even repeats that Sirius will have to kill them all if he wants to kill Harry in the book and yet in the movie: nothing!!
So Harry understandably attacks Sirius and Ron and Hermione help him out, but Crookshanks climbs onto Sirius and potentially stops Harry from trying to commit murder.
At this very tense moment, REMUS LUPIN appears, and the genius of this book is that so far, we’ve been set up to think he’s the greatest dude ever and is coming to save the day, but instead Remus has a weird conversation with what we think is the guy who killed Harry’s parents and then does this:
Yes, that’s right: Remus spawns a million slash fanfics. (Oh, and he also makes us think he’s in cahoots with a killer.)
Hermione rightfully loses her shit, blames Lupin for helping Sirius sneak into the castle, trying to kill Harry, and oh yeah, Remus is a werewolf, which lets be honest, is one hundred percent his parent’s fault by tempting fate and naming the man Sir Werewolf McWerewolferston.
Lupin only admits to the werewolf thing, Ron displays a little casual werewolf bigotry, and Hermione admits it’s all Snape’s fault for setting that ridiculous essay for homework, because no one on the planet is as petty as Severus Snape.
Remus tries to convince the trio that he, and Sirius, are innocent and brings up how he was casually watching the Marauder’s Map when he saw Peter Pettigrew on it. Lots to unpack here.
- Why are you watching this map instead of giving it to Dumbledore, Lupin? Rather irresponsible of you, no?
- The movie version of this book is overall well done, but here’s one of the biggest, most glaring flaws that I will never forgive: lack of Marauder backstory. Remus just casually mentions that he helped write the map and no further explanation, taking out much of the importance of MWPP, James and Snape’s backstory, and the tragedy that befell Remus and Sirius as young men.
- Um…Fred….George…?
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Why doesn’t Ron tell Harry and Hermione about Sirius immediately?
What are your thoughts on “you’ll have to kill us too” being taken from Ron and given to Hermione in the movies?
Do you wish more of the Marauder Map backstory was kept in the movies?
Why on Earth do Remus’s parents name him Wolfy Wolfman Wolfby Jr?
So how come the twins never mention to Ron that a dead man is sleeping in his bed every night?
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