Chapter Seven: Bagman and Crouch
In chapter seven of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Ludo Bagman and Barty Crouch appear to torture Percy, an innocent Muggle gets his memory repeatedly wiped, and wizards dress like Homer Simpson in that episode where he wears a muumuu.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Harry’s getting to his feet after a bout of nausea inducing wizard travel, and we get to one of my favorite recurring moments of whimsy even though it makes no sense: wizards not knowing how to imitate Muggle fashion and instead dressing like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.
(Why does it make no sense you ask? There is literally only one settlement in Britain that’s all wizard: Hogsmeade. Everywhere else has Muggles, and they still don’t know how they dress?!)
Sadly, we see none of this in the movies, as most characters descend from wizard hats and robes to Draco Malfoy prancing around in full blown suits (!??) and Harry dressing like a middle aged Muggle accountant at the age of 15. Give me wizards in galoshes and muumuus, dammit!
A disturbing little interval occurs when the Muggle who owns the campsite says to Mr. Weasley how weird the people around are, and he gets Obliviated for the umpteenth time casually by a wizard and why is this okay? This is not okay! It’s this type of weird arrogance that makes me look askance at wizarding culture, but is also a brilliant little insight into how wizards get radicalized against them. Oh, the Muggle is in the way? Just Obliviate him casually for a stupid game! La-di-dah!
Once we get past this little bit of nastiness, we get some entertainment about wizards being badly dressed some more, being unable to camp, and different wizarding nations that I find all–HOLD UP! It’s an Oliver Wood sighting! I repeat, an Oliver Wood sighting!
Mr. Weasley, pure soul that he is, is having the time of his life doing boring Muggle things like lighting matches and boiling water, while introducing his children and HermHar to various Ministry employees. Ludo Bagman shows up, and I do want to talk about him for a second. While I find his character entertaining, what purpose exactly does he serve, aside from being a red herring? Or is that, in fact, his sole purpose?
Fred and George engage in more gambling then I did by far on my recent Vegas trip, and Barty Crouch shows up so Percy can writhe around the ground in delight like he’s at a boyband concert.
Barty Crouch, who make Uncle Vernon look wild and carefree, calls Percy “Weatherby” like a total asshole while Percy is bowing and licking his boots and GOD THIS IS SAD Percy pull it together! Kiss a better ass!
Our trio goes around buying merch because they are my spirit animals, and then it’s on to the match!
Goblet of Fire, like I mentioned earlier, is a marked departure from our earlier HP novels, but I for one love that we’re getting so much extra detail, world expansion, character interaction, and insight in this meatier book.
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Do you want to go to the Quidditch World Cup?
Why is the Ministry just Obliviating an innocent Muggle over and over?
What is the deal with Ludo Bagman as a character? What purpose does he serve?
Do you like how much more detail is in Goblet of Fire?
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