Chapter Fifteen: Beauxbatons and Durmstrang
In chapter fifteen of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Harry is the most awful liar ever, somehow everyone is ok with a school practicing illegal mind control on students, and the extra as FUCK delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang arrive.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Harry tries to take backsies with Sirius about his scar hurting in the most painfully obvious way that any adult will see through (ok maybe not you, Uncle Vernon) because Harry is an honest person and a godawful liar.
After Hermione predictably nags Harry about his shittily constructed lie and Ron stands up for him (this is a BINGO spot on your drinking board game btw with the frequency in which this scenario happens) we find out Moody has somehow been given permission to practice the Imperius Curse on schoolchildren and–hold on just a second
We need to discuss this, y’all. I have complicated feelings. On one hand, this is actually good training on something that could happen to these children in the future, as the Imperius Curse is CREEPY and FUCKED UP and we know it’s being used a lot without people even being aware in sinister fashion. At least in this scenario, FauxMoody is performing it in front of witnesses in a contained space that is “safe.” On the other hand, this is a disturbing thing to do to children, and the activities Moody has them engage in are kind of humiliating. On the third, alien hand, we know this is Barty McDeathEater who is doing this for some weird ass reason. Why is he helping train Harry Potter, the kid he’s also trying to help kill and some other kids who probably aren’t sympathetic to Voldemort’s cause how to fight the Imperius? WHY? This is so odd! Is it just because Dumbledore ordered it and Barty’s gotta fake his Auror bent? Also, how are the parents ok with their children getting illegal curses performed on them when they couldn’t even handle a super awesome Werewolf Professor?
Ah, well, #HogwartsLogic, eh?
So EvilAlastor NotMoody casts the Imperius on Harry and instead of imitating a squirrel or doing gymnastics like his classmates he’s like “fuck this dumb shit” and throws off the curse after a few rounds with Barty McLiarFace. Oh Harry, why are we so alike?! I too react this way when being told what to do!
Trelawney loves Harry and Ron’s unflinching looks into the abyss of their next month full of horrors because Trelawney is a dramatic human dementor, and Hagrid burns the shit out of Malfoy when he threatens him with turning him into a ferret when D-Malfs gets sassy about his Care of Magical Creatures homework and the Gryffindors lose their minds at Draaaaco’s public humiliation.
Harry channels me some more when he gets excited about the arrival of the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang delegations not because of any normal reason but because they get out of Potions a half hour early and Snape can’t poison them all.
Fred and George are commencing Scene 3 in a numerous act play entitled Why is this Elaborate Red Herring Plot Leading to Bagman Being Given So Much Screentime? While Hermione’s still banging on about SPEW in the worst way possible to actually get support from apathetic teenagers
His and Ron’s lack of enthusiasm had done nothing whatsoever to curb Hermione’s determination to pursue justice for house-elves.
True, both of them had paid two Sickles for a S.P.E.W. badge, but they had only done it to keep her quiet. Their Sickles had been wasted, however; if anything, they seemed to have made Hermione more vociferous. She had been badgering Harry and Ron ever since, first to wear the badges, then to persuade others to do the same, and she had also taken to rattling around the Gryffindor common room every evening, cornering people and shaking the collecting tin under their noses.
“You do realize that your sheets are changed, your fires lit, your classrooms cleaned, and your food cooked by a group of magical creatures who are unpaid and enslaved?” she kept saying fiercely.
Some people, like Neville, had paid up just to stop Hermione from glowering at them. A few seemed mildly interested in what she had to say, but were reluctant to take a more active role in campaigning. Many regarded the whole thing as a joke.
And look, Hermione is totally right here and I’m proud of her but she’s approaching this very badly.
Sirius writes back to Harry with a human eyeroll of a letter after seeing through Harry’s transparent attempts at deterring him from coming back to Hogwarts, and the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang finally show up in the most extra ways possible that were probably actually really uncomfortable and time consuming, instead of, oh, say, taking an instantaneous portkey.
But there’s no time to dwell on this because Ron’s one true love has shown up: VIKTOR KRUM!
Ron? Thoughts? Feelings? Emotions?
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Why does Barty Moody teach Harry and others how to fight the Imperius?
Why do you think the Imperius is so hard for most people to fight off?
On a scale of 1-10, how bad is Harry’s attempt at getting Sirius to not return to Hogwarts?
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