Chapter Twenty-Four: Rita Skeeter’s Scoop
In chapter twenty-four of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Hermione and Harry defend Hagrid loudly, Rita Skeeter is a monster for no reason, and Hagrid breaks my heart into a billion pieces.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Hermione and Ron have a weird truce, which means Hermione is a more generous person than me frankly, and also might mean she’s really not that into Krum, and she’s also reacting like Harry about the news of Hagrid being a half giant like so:
while Ron is like “no seriously guys to other magic folk this is BAD” to no avail.
Harry’s being as stubborn as…well…a fourteen year old boy about listening to Cedric’s tip on the egg and refusing to actually take a bath with the thing, and is instead shaking it and throwing it around and Jesus God Harry just take a bath with it!
The following scene is very painful for me, a Hagrid lover, to suffer through. Sigh. OK. I’m gritting my teeth and diving in. So the trio shows up to Care of Magical Creatures class and Hagrid is not there but an extremely competent sub who presents an excellent lesson is. *sobpoorHagrid* Harry demands to know why, but no one answers him but Malfoy, odious little bloodless twit that he is, by presenting a Rita Skeeter *gag* special and it’s like this sequence is trying to personally hurt me.
Rita Repulsa
has written a cruel and unnecessary hit job on Hagrid for…help me out here guys, what reason, exactly, has Rita written this shitty, bigoted article about Hagrid being half giant? To needle Harry into another interview? To get back at Hagrid for not trashing Harry? Solely because she enjoys ruining lives for fun and profit? Yeah, I’m going with that last one. Anyway Rita Revolting writes that Hagrid’s a half giant with a sadistic streak and should be sacked and FUCK HER seriously. Hagrid, can you please tell this demon woman to go boil her head or something? While we’re at it, someone turn Malfoy into a ferret again.
Bartemius Evil-Eye CrouchMood?
Ahhh, thank you that helped a little. But it doesn’t help poor Hagrid and he hides in his cabin from everyone, even our heroes. Harry lies to everyone about how well his egg is going (sigh I’d like to judge but fuck it I’ve done similar things oh Harry why are we so alike) and then our golden Gryffs see Viktor Krum jumping into the freezing water wtf Vik I can’t even handle water below 78 degrees fahrenheit! Since we spent some time last chapter discussing Hermione’s movie beauty, it’s only fair to point out Book!Viktor is famous yes, but also duck footed, slump shouldered, big nosed, and apparently really skinny, while Movie!Viktor looks like:
…which, even if he’s not your cup of tea, definitely doesn’t fit Book!Viktor’s gawky description. It’s interesting that Book!Hermione and Book!Viktor are both nerdy and awkward but the movie sees fit into turning them cute, or is it just me? I realize that’s Hollywood for you, but it makes Viktor far less interesting to me. (Also, Viktor’s clearly swimming because he’s figured out the egg and dammit Harry take a damn bath!)
PotzWeazGrang run into Ludo Bagman in a pub and it’s part–I don’t even know what part anymore but it’s part A Lot of Ludo Bagman being weird and suspicious for unknown reasons and he blatantly offers to help Harry cheat again while Harry makes this face I presume:
Even weirder then Bagman offering to help Harry cheat, in my opinion, is him oddly offering up Ministry secrets to a fourteen year old who is questioning him about Bertha Jorkins and Barty Crouch, Sr. and Ludo, the fuck are you doing, my man? I guess this sets us up to totally buy how he accidentally lets secrets slip to Death Eaters later on in the story.
But it’s not only ex Quidditch players with potential brain damage in the Three Broomsticks, Rita Regurgitated Refuse is there, thinking of a way to ruin Bagman’s life (lol Rita you don’t have to dig hard for that one) and Harry screams at her in public for shitting on Hagrid
And then Hermione joins in
In fact, Hermione gets so heated Harry recalls the time she slaps Malfoy
Oh sorry, I was having a moment. Let’s relive that one too, shall we?
Wow I needed that. Anyway, so Hermione screams at Hagrid’s door until A-Dumbs opens up, and then our lovelies tell Hagrid they don’t give even the smallest fuck about him being half giant while I have all the emotions. I also feel this is a great moment for Dumbledore, where he overlooks Hermione and Harry’s aggro language and informs Hagrid he will not accept his resignation, etc.
Hagrid accomplishes what no one else was able to when he says this to Harry:
‘Yeh know wha’, Harry?’ he said, looking up from the photograph of his father, his eyes very bright. ‘When I firs’ met you, you reminded me o’ me a bit. Mum an’ dad gone, an’ you was feelin’ like yeh wouldn’ fit in at Hogwarts, remember? Not sure yeh were really up to it … an’ now look at yeh, Harry! School champion! ‘
He looked at Harry for a moment and then said, very seriously, ‘Yeh know what I’d love, Harry?
I’d love yeh ter win, I really would. It’d show ’em all .
-JK Rowling,Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
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and when Harry lies about the status of his egg clue, he feels very small, and vows to swallow his pride finally.
Join in with your thoughts below, on twitter, or instagram with #ReadHarryPotterWithMe. Follow me on my twitter @HSecretLibrary, pinterest, and my instagram @hermionessecretlibrary
How do you feel about the fact that Grubbly-Plank gives a better lesson than Hagrid?
What is worse: Bagman offering to help Harry cheat? Or Bagman telling Harry Ministry secrets?
How come Hagrid is able to get Harry to take his egg clue seriously when no one else can?
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