Chapter Twenty-Six: The Second Task
In chapter twenty-six of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Harry takes the clue a *little* too seriously, Hermione is the thing Viktor Krum would most miss, and Dobby saves the day.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Harry’s filling in his sidekicks about the weirdness between Snape and Moody, and as usual, Ron thinks Snape’s evil (and he’s kind of right) and Hermione thinks Snape is good (and she’s kind of right.) Harry triggers us all by continuing to last minute cram for the second task and fail fail FAIL with increasing panic and oh god not the college nightmares again, thanks a lot Harry!
As if he’s not melting into a puddle of his own terror enough, Hagrid (who is doing an excellent lessons on Unicorns, you go Hagz!) piles on the guilt trip inadvertently by saying this:
‘Harry,’ said Hagrid, clapping a massive hand on his shoulder, so that Harry’s knees buckled under its weight, ‘I’d’ve bin worried before I saw yeh take on tha’ Horntail, but I know now yeh can do anythin’ yeh set yer mind ter. I’m not worried at all. Yeh’re goin’ ter be fine. Got yer clue worked out, haven’ yeh?’
Harry nodded, but even as he did so, an insane urge to confess that he didn’t have any idea how to survive at the bottom of the lake for an hour came over him. He looked up at Hagrid – perhaps he had to go into the lake sometimes, to deal with the creatures in it? He looked after everything else in the grounds, after all –
‘Yeh’re goin’ ter win,’ Hagrid growled, patting Harry’s shoulder again, so that Harry actually felt himself sink a couple of inches into the muddy ground. ‘I know it. I can feel it. Yeh’re goin’ ter win, Harry.’
-JK Rowling,Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry feels about like what Ralph Wiggum felt in that one episode of The Simpsons at this
and understandably lies to Hagrid some more by not breaking into a hysterical mess at how bad his situation is. Ron’s got some stellar advice
‘Harry, just go down to the lake tomorrow, right, stick your head in, yell at the merpeople to give back whatever they’ve nicked and see if they chuck it out. Best you can do, mate. ‘
-JK Rowling,Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Part of me is really sad that Harry didn’t try this, because maybe it would’ve worked. Maybe all the merpeople wanted was some manners for once!
Anyway, Ron and Hermione are sent to McG’s office for unknown reasons, just to torment Harry some more, who is slowly losing every scrap of his sanity. Just when it seems Harry’s gonna scream into the water like Ron suggested, Dobby shows up to tell Harry that they’ve taken his Wheezy and saves his little butt with some Gillyweed (snicker) because Dobby is the greatest, most precious friend to Harry.
With a quick “Bagman tries to help Harry cheat” aside we start our second task, a thrilling and daring underwater adventure that involves grindylows attacking Fleur, Krum turning into a shark, Harry being naive and thinking Dumbledore is going to allow the other captives to be MURDERED if he, Harry, leaves them, and the audience staring at a still giant lake while all this happens.
YEAH I SAID IT.
WTF is this task, y’all? Sure it’s hard for the champions, sure it’s interesting for us as movie viewers/book readers, but all of Hogwarts spends over an hour staring at a lake! I mean the highlight is when movie!Neville, who’s taken Dobby’s scenes (yeah I said that too) says this:
…aaaaaand then everyone can go back to staring at the lake. Whooooo!
Fleur, the only woman in the tournament, fails the worst
not even reaching her little sister, Krum and Cedric reach their hostages late, and Harry is convinced Dumbledore is going to let four children get eaten by the giant squid or something if he doesn’t save them. Oh Potz you noble idiot, how I love you! Let’s talk a quick moment about the hostages. Are these the people our champions would most miss? Harry/Ron yeah I buy this. Who else has Harry got? Fleur/Gabrielle for sure, it’s her baby sister. But Viktor/Hermione and Cedric/Cho? Did the tournament organizers get lazy? Or do Cedric and Krum have sad lives where girls they barely know are the person they’d most miss? Moving on!
Harry returns last with Ron and Gabrielle and Percy shows he does actually care (#JusticeforPercy) when he runs out to greet them, dragging Ron while looking sick with nerves to safety. Hermione is squealing over Harry figuring out how to swim underwater while Krum acts jealous and needy in the background, and ok, maybe Hermione *is* the thing Krum would most miss.
Fleur kisses our boys in thanks while Hermione–
Er, Hermione?
Hermione…are you…OK…?
The judges want to give Harry full marks from all that Full Moral Fiber Cereal he’s been eating for breakfast, but Karkaroff’s cheating bigoted ass is like fuck no and gives Harry a five, dropping him to second place, which…considering he was about one second away from sticking his head in the water and screaming for his champion to be shoved at him is a huge improvement, no?
Pro tip y’all: Having a bad day? Look up Robert Pattinson gifs. You’re welcome!
<—Previous Chapter Next Chapter —>
Join in with your thoughts below, on twitter, or instagram with #ReadHarryPotterWithMe. Follow me on my twitter @HSecretLibrary, pinterest, and my instagram @hermionessecretlibrary
Are Hermione, Ron, Gabrielle, and Cho really the things the champions would most miss, or just the closest people the tournament could find?
Do you blame Harry for getting confused about the safety of the hostages? Or should it have been obvious they were safe?
Why is the second task designed to be so boring for the students and other attendees?
Picture taken in Monaco City, Monaco. Send me/tag me in your pics of you reading Harry Potter!