Chapter Thirty-Three: The Death Eaters
In chapter thirty-three of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Harry is tied to a gravestone while Voldemort monologues at him for eons. That monster!
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Voldemort’s back, and he’s got red snake eyes, his teenage nemesis tied to his dead father’s grave and a minion sobbing at his feet. It’s here Harry finds out about the Dark Marks and how the Death Eaters are summoned, and eventually, Wormtail gets a new hand before he bleeds out and dies Voldemort you dramatic bastard.
It’s at this point that Voldemort does his most dastardly act yet. Yes. Brace yourself. EVIL VILLAIN ENDLESS MONOLOGUING. Harry’s like for the love of god why don’t you just kill me but no, Voldemort’s got to blather on and on and ON about killing his own father before his Death Eaters show up to grovel badly at his feet.
Riddle (lol) me this: how is it Voldemort has convinced a society of (mostly) pureblood supremacists who are full of money and pride to worship him to the point of kissing his robes and calling him master? At this point I suppose they are terrified of him and his retaliation for sucking as minions, but how did this go to begin with? Did he act less like a quasi-god at first, and then, once they’re addicted to the power, murder, and fear he goes
and
and they’re just like
…yeah actually, I buy it.
Hilariously, LV throws back his head and dramatically sniffs the air to detect guilt and ok, that was a smart part to cut out of the movie.
More MONOLOGUING occurs, and some light torture and begging, par for the course for old Voldyshorts. He lays out who almost all of his followers are and his plan on how to conquer the Wizarding World and look, usually this is idiotic but I suppose he was confident that Harry was going to die and he’s had no one but Wormtail to talk to for a solid year.
Our favorite snake lord explains what he’s been up to (eating bugs, being non-corporeal, making Quirrelldemort spank himself with his own hand, being an asshole to Wormtail, the uhze.) Let’s pause a moment for Unconventional Thoughts with Hermione’s Secret Library.
Yeah, Wormtail went back to Voldemort because he allegedly didn’t have much of a choice. But that’s not really true. Wormtail could’ve jumped countries and lived out the rest of his life as a wizard on the run in say, Jamaica. Instead, he goes back to Voldemort and is the key figure in his resurrection. Yet all he gets for his reward is a Jaime Lannister moment and endless shit. Yes, Wormtail is a piece of garbage. But if weren’t for Wormtail, Voldemort never gets brought back to life. I’m just saying, the little asswipe deserves some more gratitude from LV.
So,
and Tom Ridz Junior is still flapping his gums about his minions and Harry Potter and Quirrelldemort and that time he tortured a woman to madness and found out about Barty, Barty, Why So Smarty, and HOLD ON Wormtail is the one who brought him Bertha Jorkins too, and yet LV mocks THAT as well and why am I defending Wormtail?!
Voldemort tries to explain his ridonkulus “I can only get Harry Potter if he wins the Triwizard Tournament plot” and look, how is it not ONE sassy Death Eater is like “yo boss, I love you and all, but why didn’t you just er…have your loyal, well placed Hogwarts servant make him touch LITERALLY ANYTHING that had been turned into a portkey instead of this elaborate Triwizard charade?!”
Sadly, no one does, and Voldemort does a spot of light Crucio torture on Harry because bullying a tied up, wandless fourteen year old somehow makes him feel powerful.
But finally he’s shutting the fuck up, and untying Harry. I’m sure that will go well for him!
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Why doesn’t Voldemort show Wormtail more appreciation?
How did LV get proud snobs to call him master and kiss his feet?
Do you wish LV had red eyes in the movies?
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