Chapter Twenty-One: The Eye of the Snake
In chapter twenty-one of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry finds out he’s been seeing thestrals, Umbridge does her worst act yet, and Arthur is attacked by Nagini.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Hermione’s trying to plan Hagrid’s lessons for him and he’s not taking her seriously in the slightest which…Hagrid…my man… now is one of those times you listen to our girl Hermz!
However, it starts out like this isn’t going to be one of those times that JKR wounds me by having Hagrid torment students with blast-ended skrewts or flobberworms, and he begins an excellent lesson on thestrals. Harry is super relieved to find out that the winged skeleton creatures he’s seeing are real, and not a figment of his and Luna Lovegood’s imagination, and we find out Neville and a “stringy Slytherin” sees them as well.
I’m going to take this moment to talk about said “stringy Slytherin,” Theodore Nott, and my (totally incorrect) old theory. So around book five on first read, I became convinced that there was going to be a “good Slytherin” at the end of our story, one that would help Harry and co. I’ll get to it later which Slytherin I thought it was, but I believed there might be at least one, maybe more. I read ages ago that JKR had an elaborate backstory and plot for Nott that she tried to fit in multiple times but abandoned and DAMMIT I want this backstory!!!
Tell me Theodore Nott, a Slytherin Malfoy actually respects, that also sees thestrals, whose father is a Death Eater, that is intelligent, that we never actively see tormenting the trio wouldn’t have been a great character to expand on! Sigh.
So Hagrid’s giving a great lesson and maybe I’m a giant weirdo
but I was actually intrigued by his lesson and wanted to hear more. EFF YOU UMBRIDGE tell me more about the thestrals you bred and trained, Haggers!
So ole’ Toad Butt shows up to be…oh god. I’m sorry. deep breaths.
It’s just Hagrid is such a pure, delightful soul and Umbridge undermines him, gets his students to laugh at him, and talks to him like he’s a slow-witted child who doesn’t understand and this is UGLY, UGLY, behavior and screw you, Pansy Parkinson! You are the fucking worst this book.
I mean, not as bad as Umbridge, who somehow seems to rise above Pansy, Malfoy, Bellatrix, and Voldemort to be the shittiest human in this book by far, but you’re still a terrible pus boil on humanity’s ass.
It’s time for the last DA lesson before the holidays, and not only has Dobby decorated with lights that say “Have a very Harry Christmas” on them, but the twins get a sick burn on Zacharias, the Terrible Hufflepuff, and Cho kisses Harry.
So OK, the kiss sounds terrible. And sure, Cho cries all over Harry while he’s clueless. But the awkward depiction of Harry word vomiting about Nargles at Cho and Ron rolling around fist pumping
while Hermione is like
is an entirely accurate depiction of teenage first kisses and I LOVE IT.
Hermione is a boss bitch and stands up for Cho, when Harry and Ron are like WhY ArE GiRLs sO CoFUsInG? about Cho’s emotional state. Guys her hunky sparkly boyfriend just died! And she’s still awash in teenage hormones, and her secondary crush is right there being adorable and heroic and a clueless plank of wood in her general vicinity! What’s a girl to do but cry?!
We also find out Hermz is pen pals with Vik Krum while Ron seethes in jealousy, and I’m just going to highlight this underrated comedic moment between our boys:
“What does she see in Krum?” Ron demanded as he and Harry climbed the boys’ stairs.
“Well,” said Harry, considering the matter, “I s’pose he’s older, isn’t he…and he’s an international Quidditch player….”
“Yeah, but apart from that,” said Ron, sounding aggravated. “I mean he’s a grouchy git, isn’t he?”
Poor Ron is approaching his friend for some comfort in his jealousy and Harry’s like “Yeah but Krum is hot and rich and to be frank, I’d do him. You’d do him. Everyone would do him, Ron.”
Oh, Harry, never change!
Speaking of, his mysterious powers come in handy when he sees Arthur attacked from inside Nagini. And I thought I had horrible nightmares.
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Do you want more Nott backstory?
Why does no one stand up for Hagrid in his lesson more effectively against Umbridge?
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Would you crush on Krum if you were Hermione?
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