Chapter Twenty-Five: The Beetle at Bay
In chapter twenty-five of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry is clueless about women, Cho has the worst Valentine’s Date of all time, and Rita Skeeter makes her return.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Right away Harry’s found out why Voldy’s twirling around in tap shoes with glee…he’s released all of his old loyal followers from Azkaban, and the Ministry is doing this
and blaming Sirius on top of it. Hagrid and Trelawney are both on probation, and Umbridge is apparently inspecting every single lesson of theirs which….again…how does this hag have time to teach her own classes? In fact, maybe now I should go another one of my random rants. I’ve tried to figure out before how the professors have time to teach. For instance, we know Snape and Sprout each have lessons with two houses at a time. But it seems most of the other non elective classes (like Transfiguration) are just one house for some reason. If there is only one house per class x 5 years of students (plus two additional classes for NEWT sixth years and NEWT seventh years) that’s still 22 classes per week…and some of the classes meet twice a week! So how on EARTH is Umbridge inspecting Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, and attending her own lessons?!
Harry’s still sucking at Occlumency (and join my twitter for a great discussion we had it about it here)
Snape and Sirius have a man part waving contest and come on, that is totally what happens this chapter! #HarryPotter #ReadHarryPotterWithMehttps://t.co/xmXxbgFmmK
— Hermione’s Library (@HSecretLibrary) July 9, 2019
and Ron is taking out an oldie but goodie off the shelf: Snape is Clearly the Villain and is Up to Evil while Hermione takes her own copy of It’s Not Snape How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You? to brain him with it. But really…they’re both right. Snape’s not deliberately setting Harry up for failure, but my gosh is his teaching technique making sure Harry fails.
So Harry’s going on his date with Cho, which we all knows means it’s time for him to break out the fancy jeans! Cho brings up my crazy Quidditch King OLIVER WOOD (thanks Cho!) and how he told Harry to commit homicide so they’d win the match that one time, but then Pansy wanders by and insults Harry’s looks and the fact that Cho has moved on from Cedric and get bent, Pansy. I don’t see you on a date.
Cho drags Harry into a frilly tea shop, every teenage boy’s dream, and then Harry steps in a pile of shit as big as Nebraska.
He’s like “oh isn’t this awkward silent date going well, btw I’m meeting Hermione Granger, you know the girl who everyone assumes I’m in love with later on this day, Valentine’s Day, and you’re welcome to come” and HOLY BALLS clearly Harry inherited James’s looks and his lack of ability with girls.
Now, even though there’s a very amusing Harry and the Potters song about this that I love (not an official video lol)
I still don’t think Cho behaves that abominably here. She understandably reacts with jealousy and lashes out by mentioning Cedric and Roger Davies and Harry’s so dumb he doesn’t get it for ages and then laughs when he figures it out, leading to Cho telling him to get stuffed and running out.
Harry’s like
as if he didn’t totally cause this.
However, this chapter ends with a totally solid banger of a moment in which Rita Skeeter’s horribleness comes in handy for once when it turns out Hermione’s bribing her into writing an article about the truth of Voldemort’s return and Luna’s getting it published in The Quibbler.
<—Previous Chapter Next Chapter —>
Join in with your thoughts below, on twitter, or instagram with #ReadHarryPotterWithMe. Follow me on my twitter @HSecretLibrary, pinterest, and my instagram @hermionessecretlibrary
So how is Umbridge inspecting two different teachers and also leading her own lessons?
Harry vs Cho: Give me your hot take on this date!
What was your initial reaction when you first read about Hermione blackmailing Rita into writing the truth for Harry?
Picture taken in Bath, England. Send me/tag me in your pics of you reading Harry Potter!