Chapter Nineteen: Elf Tails
In chapter nineteen of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Harry gets knocked out by his own Keeper, my sweet prince DOBBY returns, and JK Rowling maybe reveals herself as a secret Drarry shipper!?
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
The twins are finally publicly acting like they love Ron and are visiting his recently poisoned ass in the hospital, along with Hermione, who has forgiven him (for learning horrible kissing technique with Lav Lav) because he’s been poisoned rather then declare love to Romilda Vane.
Everyone with the name “Weasley” is thanking Harry for being a one man band of Weasley saving as usual, and Hcubed leaves the hospital wing for a round of “what secret should Hagrid be keeping that he’s not?”
Hagrid stopped in his tracks, a familiar, guilty expression on what was visible of his face above his tangled black beard.
“What?” said Harry quickly. “Dumbledore’s angry with Snape?”
“I never said tha’,” said Hagrid, though his look of panic could not have been a bigger giveaway. “Look at the time, it’s gettin’ on fer midnight, I need ter—”
Dammit are you telling me that the movie deprived us of one of these classic moments?!
For SHAME!
Hagrid has overheard a Snape/Dumbles fight that may or may not be about Malfoy, and Harry uses this information to reveal that JKR is maybe a secret Drarry shipper. What?! It’s CANON y’all!
Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch, he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy.
Lav and McLaggen however, are not letting him be obsessed with Malfoy in peace and quiet, and are stalking him like they think they’re Oliver Wood trying to win the Quidditch Cup or something.
Speaking of Malfoy being weird, he actually gets off a good insult on Harry which…has someone checked him for Polyjuice?!
Malfoy stopped short at the sight of Harry, then gave a short, humourless laugh and continued walking.
‘Where’re you going?’ Harry demanded.
‘Yeah, I’m really going to tell you, because it’s your business, Potter,’ sneered Malfoy. ‘You’d better hurry up, they’ll be waiting for the Chosen Captain – the Boy Who Scored – whatever they call you these days.’
Who is this boy?! Not caring about Quidditch or Harry? Actually having funny barbs?! What’s next, he’ll reveal his love for Hermione and Hagrid and puppies?
McLaggen is somehow even worse at Keeping then Ron in book 5 and manages to knock out Harry, his captain and seeker with a Bludger’s bat when he’s not even a beater, but not before we hear some truly stellar commentary by Luna.
I might be the only one who enjoys the Quidditch chapters as much as I do, but one of the disappointments I have with this book is how over writing Quidditch matches JKR clearly is in this book. She can’t even write Harry and Malfoy as giving a shit, that’s how much she’s over it.
McLaggen has sent Harry to the Hospital Wing and Ron’s kind of not hiding well how happy he is with the fact that Gryffindor LOST which…Ron…bro…I get it but hold that shit in and feel shame like a proper friend, ok?
We get a moment where Harry fantasizes about Ginny and I barf copiously before Harry discusses his true love, stalking Malfoy.
We end the chapter with the glorious return of DOBBY which wipes out all annoyance I might’ve felt this chapter. Even better, he’s brawling with Kreacher for talking shit about Harry, and HPotz has a brilliant plan and sets both elves to do his stalking of Malfoy for him.
Well, better that then Kreacher running off to Bellatrix again!
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Real talk is JKR a Drarry shipper?
Better Quidditch commentary: Luna or Lee?
Worse Keeper: Ron or McLaggen?
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