Chapter Eight: The Wedding
In chapter eight of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we get our first wizard wedding and it’s crashed by Death Eaters. Well, that’s a way to make sure no one forgets your big day!
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Harry’s drinking some Muggle polyjuice and cosplaying as cousin Barny Otter, sorry, Barny Weasley, and I have to say I enjoy that you can apparently throw a really nice magical wedding with what sounds like minimal expense! Much better then the Muggle way.
On reread Fred breaks our freaking heart with this one:
“When I get married,” said Fred, tugging at the collar of his own robes, “I won’t be bothering with any of this nonsense. You can all wear what you like, and I’ll put a full Body-Bind Curse on Mum until it’s all over.”
The boys are ushering everyone to their seats, and Remus has taken Tonks’s place from last book as the mysteriously miserable one and can you two pull it together?! How am I supposed to ship this when you two are determined to be so annoying as a couple?
My unique Queen Luna has arrived with her infinitely inferior weirdo father Xenophilius in bright yellow dress robes, which is apparently unusual, even though we know Harry had bottle green dress robes in book 4…? Luna’s practically crying in gratitude that she was bitten by a garden gnome and recognizes Harry through his polyjuice because Luna dances to her own five piece band and that dance? Is awesome.
Auntie Muriel shows up to remind us all that we have that one relative we can’t stand when she comments on Hermione’s ankles (women all over the world: great we have to worry about our ankles now too?) Ginny’s dress being too low cut, and Ron pretending he’s friends with Harry who is allegedly not there. Oh yeah, and the fact that Fleur is French. Auntie M, just bless your luck that you’re now related to someone who has access to French pastries, you fool!
Viktor Krum shows up to make Ron jealous who has finally learned that acting jealous is really, really unappealing and instead chooses to ask Hermione to dance and be confidant! Yay Ron!
The wedding is beautiful and all but who wants to read my recap of that, no one I tell you, and then Krum shows up again to tell Harry that Xenophilius is wearing the sign of Grindelwald around his neck and he’s about to go HAM on Xeno if he wasn’t a guest at Fleur’s wedding. HmmmmMMMmmm I wonder if this symbol of Grindelwald’s will be important later!
Harry remembers that Gregorovitch, the name LV is obsessing over, is Krum’s wandmaker just in time for Krum to try to hit on Ginny next while the CHEST MONSTER explodes out of Harry and eats Krum’s face off in a rage. Or Harry cockblocks his own ex girlfriend by pretending Ginny’s got a terrifying giant boyfriend. One or the other.
Ok let’s talk about the comment where Krum says what’s the point in being an international Quidditch player if all the good looking girls are taken because I have thoughts about this! But I also don’t know how I feel about it either.
So what does Krum mean by this? Does he only play Quidditch as some sort of in to getting cute girls, because he’s too awkward otherwise? Does Krum not enjoy Quidditch, and only find it worthwhile to get to meet cute girls? Is he a raging f*@kboy? Either way, I’m not sure I like this Cho Changing of Viktor, who was the boy who liked Hermione, the nerd, when no one else noticed her. I’m just glad Harry never tells Hermione this.
Because Harry is a special, special boy instead of getting crunk (hello 2002 reference yes I’m so cool) with the other youths or dancing in circles with Luna he’s decided to chat with the over 100’s crowd: Elphias Doge and the unwanted Auntie Muriel.
Elphias and Auntie M play Tug of War with Harry and his emotions as they argue over the nobility of Dumbledore, with Auntie Hag revealing that Ariana was a squib, Kendra Dumbledore kept her locked up, and Aberforth broke Albus’s nose at the funeral. Harry’s trying to process this mess when Kingsley’s patronus shows up to tell everyone that Scrimgeour is dead, the Ministry is taken, and the Death Eaters are coming to crash a wedding. Poor Voldy, all he wanted was his bridezilla moment! He looks so good in white!
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More intriguing mystery: why is Remus sad in DH or why is Tonks sad in HBP?
How did you interpret Krum’s comment about good looking girls?
What did you think of Harry blocking Krum from flirting with Ginny?
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