Chapter Eleven: The Bribe
In chapter eleven of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows —yikes Remus, what are you doing?!
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
We open up our US illustrated copies of Deathly Hallows knowing something is about to go terribly wrong with Remus, because every time one of Harry’s godfather-esque figures grows his hair shoulder length like in the above illustration, shit is about to go down. No, Remus! Stay away from Bellatrix and veils!
Ahem. Anyway, Death Eaters are really obviously staking out number twelve, because the Muggles in that neighborhood are the most chill neighbors ever and are apparently not prone to calling the po po on some random dudes who stalk their houses all day in cloaks.
REMUS LUPIN shows up to excite me and then utterly, utterly disappoint me. Remus fills the trio in on the wedding shenanigans and how can you be-LIEVE that Voldemort showed up in the same swan gown as Fleur, how humiliating for him, and also that Scrimgeour was maybe tortured to death while refusing to give up Harry’s whereabouts, which immediately makes Scrimgeour more interesting to me. I do love my quasi villains to have depth! Also? We discussed this on twitter
Scrimgeour tries his best to suck as much as Fudge, but you be the judge on whether he succeeds or not. #harrypotter #readharrypotterwithmehttps://t.co/RFseZMoljx
— Hermione’s Library (@HSecretLibrary) October 24, 2019
but there is absolutely no way Fudge would’ve lasted through five seconds of torture and would’ve given up Harry in seconds if he was still in charge.
Remus has got tons of other fun information like that Voldemort has taken over the Prophet, the Ministry, is torturing the Tonks family senior members, the Minister is under the Imperio for Voldy, and oh yeah, Harry is wanted over the death of Dumbledore. So apparently the only thing holding the wizarding world together all of those years was the continual existence of Albus Dumbledore, who would’ve thunk it?
Muggleborns are being rounded up and while I originally found this to be slightly hard to believe on first read now that I’ve lived in our terrible world some more I buy that as long as it isn’t effecting people, they’ll ignore horrors against other people.
But wait! Remus isn’t done being a Debbie Downer because he’s like “anyway y’all do you need me to come along? My wife Tonks will be fine at her parent’s home even though I just told you they were tortured in their own home and she’s pregnant with my maybe werewolf baby and her aunt is trying to murder her.”
Harry’s all, “great, just for clarification, you’re abandoning your wife and unborn kid to probable death and torture for me, who you couldn’t even be bothered to send owls to for years?”
And then one of the most painful Harry Potter interactions happens.
“She’ll be perfectly safe there, they’ll look after her,” said Lupin. He spoke with a finality bordering on indifference. “Harry, I’m sure James would have wanted me to stick with you.”
“Well,” said Harry slowly, “I’m not. I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually.”
Remus explains he made a mistake marrying Tonks because he’s a penniless outcast on a good day and a monster being hunted on a bad day and his kid also might be a werewolf and it’s all very sad and messed up. Look I don’t want to defend Remus per se because this is awful on his part, but there is one little argument to be made for Remus abandoning his pregnant wife to help Harry. For one, Remus really could’ve helped the trio on their quest. And Harry’s trying to save the world from Voldemort and his evil minions. In the grander scheme of things, nothing, absolutely nothing is more important then that. But of course this is a cold blooded way of thinking, and I don’t blame Harry, a neglected orphan whose parents died protecting him, for lashing out really meanly. Remus storms away in a huff and I pull my own hair out in frustration that one of the best Harry Potter characters has been sidelined for books and now is acting like a douche.
Harry’s like “well I feel like shit, time to read this Rita Skeeter tabloid article about Dumbledore, that should help” and he learns more about Dumble’s childhood according to Rita Skeeter, which perhaps contains one single grain of truth if Rita’s in a more honest mood.
Giving Harry the trifecta of terrible moods, Mundungus and Kreacher are back, and we find out that Umbridge has the Horcrux locket in her possession. Well that will lift your spirit, Harry!
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Join our twitter discussion: would Fudge have lasted as long as Scrimgeour when faced with torture?
Is Remus wrong to try to join the trio? Why or why not?
Should Remus have married and impregnated Tonks with his concerns about his wife and child being outcasts?
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