Chapter 1: The Worst Birthday
In chapter one of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets the Dursleys have returned to tell Draco Malfoy to move over, to tell Lord Voldemort to back the eff off, because the most horrendous relations ever have arrived to remind us that they are still the worst.
You can’t even make a drinking game out of the amount of times the Dursley’s treat Harry like toe fungus in this chapter or you’d succumb to poisoning in roughly two minutes.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
It’s poor Harry’s birthday, and although he’s successfully tricking the Dursley’s that he’s allowed to do magic outside of school, they still are Cinderfella-ing the hell out of him. Uncle Vernon is is in the market for more money and a vacation property in Majorca, once again leaving me with wonder at just how well his drill company actually pays, and how one gets in on this action.
Sassy Harry returns
and gets some sweet revenge on Dudley for being a jerk and taunting Harry for having no friends by making up nonsense words and saying them in Dudley’s direction. (In retrospect, it’s rather alarming to hear Harry angrily saying Abracadbra, no? When it sounds so close to Avada Kedavra.)
Cinder Harry pays and pay and pays for this, and even after all of those hours of manual labor
Aunt Petunia still starves him while a delicious roast is in the oven because she’s a hag who can’t let got of a 20 year jealous grudge over her dead sister and also has horrendous taste in evening wear. Salmon pink, Aunt Petty?
So poor starving Harry retreats to his room…and finds one of my very favorite characters.
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If you were Harry, would you have pretended you could do magic all summer to the Dursleys?
Would you agree to cooperate with the Dursley’s plan of locking Harry silently in his room?
When you first read the book, why did you think Ron and Hermione weren’t responding to Harry’s letters?
And how on Earth is Aunt Petunia able to maintain this level of pettiness for so long?
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