Chapter Four: At Flourish and Blotts
In chapter four of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry spends more time with the marvelous Weasley’s, and is stunned to discover people actually like him, because the Dursley’s are the sludge of humanity and have convinced him he’s not worthy of liking.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Percy continues to errrr “polish his broom” or whatever in his room, Ginny continues to experience the excruciating agony of having your crush in your own home while you act like an unbelievable spaz
And Mr. Weasley wins our hearts by acting like boring Muggle stuff is just as cool to him as the amazing wizard stuff is to us.
Harry and co travel by floo power but not before one of our instances of Harry eating copious amounts of bacon happens (half a dozen bacon sandwiches each???)
Since Harry is also a bit of a spaz he comes out in Knockturn Alley instead of Diagon Alley and has to hide from D-Malfs and his even more horrendous father, Lucifer–oh excuse me, Lucius Malfoy. L-Malfs is sick of his son’s already strong obsession with hating on Harry and snipes at him for not appearing fond of the wizarding world’s boy hero and also for doing worse than Hermione in his exams. So in about two seconds, we realize Lucius is a bigot and jerk, and D-Malfs really didn’t have much of a chance in not being an odious little worm.
Movie sidenote but Jason Isaacs to me has always been stunning perfection as Lucius, and has always seemed hilarious and amazing in real life, discussing his “Paris Hilton wig” and coming up with that over the top accent on his own. While I appreciate almost all of the Harry Potter actors, Jason is one of the few who captured the character exactly as I’d envisioned them.
After escaping Malfoy detection, getting rescued from creepy witches by Hagrid and meeting up with the Weasley’s again, Harry runs into one of my very favorite characters in all of Harry Potter, the one, the ONLY, Gilderoy Lockhart. I’ve always been a huge fan of somewhat absurdist humor, of humans who behave in ridiculous ways as if it’s perfectly normal, and Lockhart’s over-the-top ego driven vanity and the fact that he’s one of the few characters actually based on a real person makes me love him even more. It’s one of the reasons I’m so very fond of Chamber of Secrets. Let’s summarize: Lockhart shows up signing books, surrounded by grinning photos of himself, makes a damn scene when he spots Harry and openly tells him it’s because they rate the front page together, dramatically announces Harry’s excitement at seeing Lockhart and the news that he’s going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher (because Quirrelldemort’s dead or whatever but no one cares) and then gives Harry free books.
It’s here I’m going to discuss young Jude Law. It’s been sixteen years, but I’ve finally got my wish and Jude Law is in a Harry Potter movie.
…It’s just not the one I’d always pictured him in. When reading the books, I was convinced young Jude Law would’ve been perfect as Gilderoy Lockhart. He’s a great actor, and if you are too young to know, here was what Jude Law looked like around then:
Kenneth Branagh was amazing as Lockhart but I never got over my wish to see Jude as Gilderoy, and I’m thrilled he finally showed up as Dumbledore.
Mr. Weasley proves he’s amazing part two when the family runs into Lucifer and junior Lucifer Malfs and he literally throws down with him in a bookstore when he insults Hermione’s Muggle parents and we all weep this scene was cut from the movie. Just imagine that Paris Hilton wig flying while Fred and George scream “get him dad!”
But we soldier on, content in the knowledge that we can always reread this amazing scene.
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Can you picture young Jude Law as Gilderoy Lockhart?
Do you wish the Arthur/Lucius physical fight had been kept in the movies?
What do you think the Granger’s thought of this drama?
And how did Harry possibly eat six bacon sandwiches?
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