Chapter Sixteen: The Chamber of Secrets
In chapter sixteen of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Ginny gets dragged into the Chamber of Secrets, Ron and Harry briefly have a responsible plan before going B-A-N-A-N-A-S, and Lockhart gets hoisted on his own petard.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Our story picks back up with McGonagall informing the Gryffindors that they are getting exams still and the students are like
It isn’t enough our heroes have to suffer through a narcissistic Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, their classmates being petrified, terror of a hidden monster attacking them, and Snape, now they’ve got exams too?!
After dropping this terrible bomb, later on McGonagall lets loose with some great news instead, and one of the exchanges I like to call “Oliver Wood, how I love your crazy ass” follows:
Professor McGonagall made another announcement at breakfast.
“I have good news,” she said, and the Great Hall, instead of falling silent, erupted.
“Dumbledore’s coming back!” several people yelled joyfully.
“You’ve caught the Heir of Slytherin!” squealed a girl at the Ravenclaw table.
“Quidditch matches are back on!” roared Wood excitedly.
And all I can say is, get you a person who loves you as much as Oliver Wood loves Quidditch.
So McG’s real announcement is that the Mandrakes are almost ready for cutting, and the petrified people will be awoken soon. Everyone but the odious D-Malfs cheers, and Ginny shows up to do her best Dobby impression
Bad Ginny! Bad Ginny!
Percy scares her off and our boys don’t find out what she was on the brink of spilling, but we do get another hint that Percy has a secret.
Lockhart’s Lockharting around about how wonderful and great he is and how pointless it is to follow y’know, student safety rules, and Harry’s Slytherin side comes out and he smarmily agrees with Lockhart, who leaves his class of twelve-year-olds to potentially be killed by a monster so he can curl his hair. Oh, Gilderoy!
Harry uses this opportunity to sneak off with Ron to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, but they get caught in about a second by McGonagall and Harry the Slytherin comes bursting through again to lie that they were going to visit Hermione.
After successfully reducing McG to sappy tears, they are forced to talk to Hermione’s petrified body, which is the equivalent of trying to convince Snape to use shampoo.
Harry sees that Hermione’s got a piece of paper poised in her petrified paw and pries it out. As usual, Hermione has figured out everything ages before PotzWeaz and now they know the monster is a basilisk, and Harry’s the only one who can hear it because he can speak with snakes and it’s been slithering around the pipes. Our boys further deduce that no one has yet been killed by the basilisk because no one’s looked it quite in the eye, and Ron figures out the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. It was almost found when the bathroom was built to stop wizards from casually pooping themselves and vanishing it and NO I WON’T LET THIS GO EITHER. What do witches with their periods do, huh?!
PotzWeaz actually try to do the responsible thing and make their way to the staffroom to let the Professors know that they’ve figured out where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is. However, this goes off the rails when McG makes an announcement implying another attack has happened and PotzWeaz decide to…hide in the closet…? Instead of…sticking to their plan to tell the professors…? Look they can only have so many smart thoughts per chapter, ok?!
So they hide in the closet, find out Ginny’s been taken into the Chamber, and slink off to the common room INSTEAD OF TELLING MCGONAGALL WHERE THE CHAMBER IS LOCATED BOYS BOYS BOYS.
You were so close guys!
Anyway, after sitting in understandably miserable silence with the other Weasleys, Ron says Ginny must’ve known something about the Chamber and PotzWeaze decide to tell Lockhart (LOCKHART) where the Chamber entrance is located.
They find out that Lockhart is a giant frauding fraud who is running away like the sneaky cockroach he is, and Harry uses his iconique Expelliarmus spell to disarm him and press gang Lockhart into joining their expedition.
📍 Harry Potter
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📍Literally any spell |
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📍 Expelliarmus— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) January 7, 2019
Our trio of two boys and a sack of clothes masquerading as a man interrogate Myrtle about her death, and she proves she’s the OG Goth Girl
and some much needed help on where the chamber is exactly. She points them toward a sink that’s “always” had a broken tap and–stop stop stop! Are you telling me the sink has ALWAYS had a broken tap and somehow NO ONE has EVER tried to fix it and noticed it doesn’t work because it’s a pipe leading to a giant snake monster? I buy Filch never noticing, but no one else has discovered this?!
Also join me in taking a moment to laugh at Tom Riddle exploring the castle so thoroughly he finds the Chamber in a damn girl’s bathroom, and the wild shenanigans he must’ve gotten up to in order to find it.
Harry opens the Chamber with some Parseltongue, and Lockhart gets shoved down into the pipes,
and I giggle again imagining T-Rids entering the Chamber.
Lockhart’s gotta Lockhart and he steals Ron’s janky wand and tries to use his own iconique spell of “Obliviate” on our boys. As he’s no Harry Potter/Expelliarmus and he’s got the jank wand, he blasts himself and gets some just desserts.
Harry comes across the Chamber, alone…and enters.
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Join in with your thoughts below, on twitter, or instagram with #ReadHarryPotterWithMe. Follow me on my twitter @HSecretLibrary, pinterest, and my instagram @hermionessecretlibrary
Do you love anything as much as Oliver Wood loves Quidditch?
Does it make sense for the students to still take exams?
So how do you think Riddle found the Chamber?
How come no one noticed the broken sink tap?
Why don’t Ron and Harry tell McGonagall or another professor where the Chamber is?
Do you think Lockhart deserved to have his memory wiped?
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