Chapter Eighteen: The Weighing of the Wands
In chapter eighteen of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Hermione is an amazing friend, Harry is getting bullied, and Malfoy is spending all of his time on his DIY button maker.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
All of the Gryffindors are still refusing to believe Harry and cheering him when he really just wants to crawl in a hole and die, but Hermione has stepped the hell up as an awesome friend and brings Harry toast so he can hide from the taunting and cape wearing and such, and also to discuss with him how this could’ve happened. Hermz also drops a truth bomb on Harry when she lays it out that Ron is jealous and all of the attention Harry gets, and this was a straw/camel situation. Honestly, Ron is an enormous jerk to Harry, and rather ridiculous. But there’s a kernel of truth to what Hermione says here. Ron is always and forever the lesser in his life. The lesser brother, the lesser in the Harry/Ron friendship to the world. And he does bear it with grace all of the time. But that is no excuse for Ron being such a complete and utter ass to Harry about this.
So Harry writes another weird awkward letter to Sirius (why does Sirius care that Cedric is the other Hogwarts champion, Harry?) and angers Hedwig when he uses another bird. To top off his crap sundae, Harry discovers that the rest of the school thinks he’s a giant glory hog and is either outright ignoring him or constantly bullying him.
Harry’s at least got Hagrid on his side, although there’s a funny little exchange where I think Hagrid is actually saying he only believes Harry because Dumbledore believes Harry
“‘Course I do,” Hagrid grunted. “Yeh say it wasn’ you, an’ I believe yeh — an’ Dumbledore believes yer, an’ all.”
Honestly Harry’s got some practice with people thinking he’s awful (thanks, Tom Riddle’s diary and McG’s point drainage!) but Malfoy ramps up his game by making buttons–hold on.
Malfoy’s made a ton of meany buttons calling Harry a poopy stinkface who will never be as dreamy glittery as Cedric (or something like that) but now I cannot stop imaging the process that he went through to get this. First Malfoy’s making insult poems, then he’s trying on a comedy act, then he’s attempting a rap battle, but now he’s gone too far, and has obtained a button maker. An EVIL button maker! I can just picture him crouched over one, making buttons for hours while he writes “Harry + Draco 4eva” and then frantically adding a word so it reads “Harry + Draco 4eva enemies” whenever someone walks by. D-Malfs. My little bleached boy. Get a damn grip on your Potter obsession! HARRY KNOWS!
Hermione is a real friend some more, tries to stand up for Harry, gets called a Mudblood by Malfoy in the process *sigh* just pull her pigtail, Draco, and when Harry rages out at this like any decent person should, his spell accidentally hits Goyle and Malfoy’s hits Hermione, making her buck teeth even bigger.
Just when you think she hasn’t been put through enough for standing by Harry, Snape oozes over and says her giant fang teeth look the same as always, because SNAPE IS GARBAGE FUCK YOU SNAPE. Harry and Ron both lose it even further, scream insults at Snape, and get points taken and a detention. Harry wins my love further by fantasizing about attacking Snape (The Ghost of James Potter: That’s my boy!) and narrowly escapes getting poisoned because he’s got to do champion stuff.
Meta moment: when I first read Harry Potter, I blew through the first four books in one giant binge, so my recollections of my first thoughts on things in them are hazy. I can recall my original reactions for books 5-7 much more clearly, so I’ll add them more in future recaps. But I *do* recall how deeply I hated Rita Skeeter when I first read Goblet of Fire. In reread, the hatred is lessened by the knowledge of how Hermione bests her for awhile, but when I was first reading this I longed for something awful to happen to Rita (and Draco and Snape, lets be real.)
We are immediately put on guard by the descriptions and actions of Rita in this chapter, but her full throttle monstrous form will be revealed later on, of course. Ollivander shows up to remind us that Harry’s wand Voldemort’s wand share a core for no reason, I’m sure
And then Sirius writes back to Harry, promising a reunion!
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Sooo….Hagrid only believes Harry because Dumbledore does, right?
Draco owns a button maker?!
On reread, we know why Snape hates Harry and Neville, but why does he hate Hermione so much?
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