Chapter Nine: The Woes of Mrs. Weasley
In chapter nine of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry runs into an old enemy with peroxide hair, Ron becomes a prefect to the shock of all, and Mrs. Weasley has a super sad boggart.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Arthur Weasley, man who deserved to have a kid named after him, HARRY, is awaiting HPotz outside the courtroom soiling his pants with nerves for his pseudo son like the gem he is and because f’ing Dumbledore couldn’t take .2 seconds to tell him Harry was found innocent. Percy ‘N Friends walk by Arthur acting like jerkwads and Mr. Weasley further wins my allegiance by telling Harry how Muggle baiting is awful and indicative of a nastier undertone and
Because Fudge is the worst politician (in this series, sadly real life has him beat by a metric fuck-ton) he’s ass-kissing Lucius Malfoy whom he was just informed is an active Death Eater who worships a murderous snake man. Will someone PLEASE check Fudge for some massive brain damage!
Malfoy calls Harry “Patronus Potter” and really I thought Junior Malfoy was shit at insults with Scar-Head and Potty and his button maker but here’s Lucius calling Harry a freaking compliment like it’s dirty that he can do highly advanced magic.
In case I’m not already enraged enough by this book enough, Lucius decides to say Harry’s escaped his punishment in a “snake-like” fashion and FUCK FUDGE for not seeing that Lucius is literally rubbing it in everyone’s faces that Harry was attacked by Voldemort and Fudge is too stupid to believe him. He then proceeds to mock Arthur and deck him again, Arthur! Do it! Harry’s like WTF are YOU doing here, MALFOY and may you never stop being sassy, Harry!
L-Malfs says “bribing this idiot here into compliance” or maybe he doesn’t, but we all know that’s what’s going on.
Everyone at Number 12 celebrates Harry’s dismissal of charges but then Sirius gets weird and moody and Hermione agrees with Mrs. Weasley that Sirius is staring at Harry and seeing James and
I hate this argument, I’m sorry. I think Sirius has some serious damage from Azkaban and he looks at Harry as the only continuation of his best friend, but I maintain that he can separate the two Potters in his mind.
But never mind that, we’ve got a horrendously awkward scene to get to! So Ron’s made a prefect and everyone and their mother is shocked. Poor Ron, for real, but Harry, Hermione, the twins, and the reader are all like
at Ron becoming prefect over Harry. Fred and George and Hermione shit all over Ron’s one moment of glory, one by accident and two on purpose, until Mrs. Weasley shows up to lose her mind with glee. This is…not a great scene for the twins, even when they get off some witty remarks. Won’t anyone put some respect on Ron’s name?
Harry has a completely normal and human reaction to Ron getting prefect and he tries super hard to act excited and happy for Ron while being disappointed and confused on the inside.
Mrs. Weasley is throwing a congratulations party for GrangeWeaz and Moody raises the eternal question for us all…does the boggart locked in a cupboard show Moody his greatest fear still? Or can he see it in it’s real form? And what is it’s real form?
Tonks and Sirius inadvertently cheer up Harry by revealing neither of them were prefects but don’t worry Harry, Moody is here to make you feel like shit with a fun photograph of all the murdered members of The Order, including your dead parents next to Pettigrew! At this point, is Harry wishing for the return of Fake!Moody McEvilCrouch? At least BartMood was supportive of Harry, dang. Seriously, a murderous Death Eater showed more empathy to Harry then real Moody did with this photo!
Feeling shitty, Harry? Well, not shitty enough! Now you get to come across Mrs. Weasley confronting her boggart: her dead children, which include you! (Ok that last part is kind of sweet, thanks Molly.)
Lupin and Sirius and Moody come up to deal with the boggart and reassure Mrs. Weasley no one is going to die in her family
while Sirius stares at the fake dead body of his godson and Jesus H Order of the Phoenix are you trying to kill me?!
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Did you agree with Ron becoming prefect?
Why are Fred and George so mean to Ron about becoming prefect?
What was Moody thinking showing Harry that photo?
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