Chapter Nineteen: The Lion and the Serpent
In chapter nineteen of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry and George finally give Malfoy the beating he’s been asking for for years, Ron gets destroyed, and Malfoy breaks out his evil badge maker.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Prepare yourselves y’all, because this chapter is one of the most painful in Harry Potter. No, I don’t mean it’s poorly written, on the contrary it’s brilliant. But good gracious does it hurt me.
Hermione’s busted out the fact that she can do NEWT level magic and Terry Boot, Ravenclaw, spontaneously falls in love with her (you cannot convince me otherwise!) and also demands to know why she’s not in Ravenclaw where she belongs. IMO, Hermione is a true Gryffindor but I see why the hat had trouble placing her.
Ron’s off catatonic with nerves (a boy after my own heart) about the first Quidditch match, and he’s in such a bad state even Luna Lovegood showing up with a decapitated lion head on top of her hair doesn’t rouse him.
While I enjoy the movie look,
I kind of think I prefer the book version?
And now, the torment of Ronald B. Weasley has to commence. First, Malfoy’s owled mummy to send him a companion to the evil button maker, the evil badge maker, and has created ridiculous badges saying Weasley is our King.
Second, Malfoy’s moved on from his poetry, rap battles, and comedy improv to add bitchy song writing to his repertoire and HOW is it the entire school doesn’t constantly mock Malfoy for his Potter/Weasley OBSESSION? I mean, these are teenagers right? Wouldn’t everyone pounce on Malfoy for doing this? He’s one step away from being a damn stalker!
Even Lee Jordan’s hilarious commentary can’t cheer me up (I lied it cheered me up) when the Slytherins not only start singing a dumb song about Ron sucking so badly that he’s the King of Slytherin, but Ron actually succumbs to this taunting (who wouldn’t) and lets in every goal and
Stupid Pansy is conducting this song and AGAIN I ASK HOW IS THIS BITCH RETAINING HER PREFECT BADGE? Better question, how are any of the Slytherins getting away with this massive public spectacle of bullying? Why is no one shutting this down immediately? Are the teachers helpless and incompetent?!
Harry defeats Malfoy by catching the snitch first and wow Draco, maybe you should’ve practiced more instead of making hundreds of badges and writing dumb songs and then maybe you would beat Harry, ever.
Somehow, even after losing to Harry yet again Malfoy is daring to taunt Harry, the missing Ron, and by extension the twins by insulting the Weasley parents and can you believe this little bleached turd has the nerve to do this, when he just lost? AGAIN? why is Sassy!Harry lying dormant when we need him most? The twins are being held back by Harry and our chasers, but Malfoy keeps it classy by making fun of Harry’s dead mother and then George and Harry go HAM on Malfoy while he whimpers and how is it possible that Malfoy is the bully and not the bullied when he’s historically such a sucky wimp my GOD.
McG is gearing up to give them a week of death detentions when the toad completes the heinous depiction of hell that is this chapter and bans the twins and Harry for life from playing Quidditch, courtesy of that toad licker (innuendo intended) Fudge giving Umbridge more power. First of all, how is it even possible that Umbridge has the right to ban anyone for life?! Second, howcan she ban Fred who literally did nothing but be a twin to George? (…yeah he struggled against the girls but he didn’t smack Malfoy.) Third, how is she able to confiscate their brooms, when it’s a form of transportation and not just used for a game?!
Ron comes back from hiding to find out that everyone’s been banned from Quidditch and he understandably feels like roadkill, but the only thing that can potentially drive PotzWeaz out of their funk shows up because Hagrid’s back, baby!
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Which lion hat do you prefer?
Can someone explain to me how Malfoy himself is not bullied for his behavior?
How is Umbridge able to ban the twins and Harry for LIFE from playing Quidditch?
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