A Harry Potter Reread: The Order of the Phoenix Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty: Grawp

In chapter thirty of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix  Hagrid almost fights a herd of centaurs, Harry’s come clean about who’s funding Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, and Ron wins the Quidditch Cup.

(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)

The whole school is gossiping about Fred and George’s exit, and they’re all going wild trying to be the next Weasley twin, using snackboxes to get out of class, putting nifflers in Umbridge’s office, and tormenting the little narcs in the Inquisitorial Squad, while Peeves is off destroying expensive chandeliers with McG’s help.

Montague’s still out of it from the toilet incident and ok, fine, Hermione has a point that maybe they should’ve helped. Yes he tried to take points but the kid could be permanently damaged. But let’s move on from that moral dilemma to another round of What Have they Cut  From Book to Movie this Time, Why God Why? Up next! Iiiiiit’s! Harry Potter! Ron Wealey! And Hermione Granger in Charms!

The time has finally come, and Harry admits that Mrs. Weasley doesn’t have to throttle Ron with a maroon jumper for letting the twins leave school to start a joke shop because he financed the whole thing with his triwizard gold. Hermione’s a bit tiresome about it like this wasn’t one of the best ideas Harry has ever had, nay, perhaps is the best idea Harry has ever had. Ron’s just thrilled that he’s been spared death by jumper and Harry’s got to look forward to asphyxiation by bacon sandwich instead.

But Ron’s happiness doesn’t last long, he’s got to goal keep against Ravenclaw and right after he’s let in the first goal, Hagrid shows up to steal Harry and Hermione for a second like he’s a contestant on the Bachelorette.

 

Hagrid’s dragging our H duo to the forest so they can be an H trio, and oh yeah, so he can reveal he’s kidnapped his half giant violent brother who doesn’t understand English and btw, can Hsquared take care of him once Hagrid gets sacked and teach him English? No big, right?

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To make things more terrifying for H2H, a herd of centaurs threatens Hagrid and he’s like

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at the murderous horse men while HermzPotz are like “for the love of Norbert, no, Hagrid!” and try to push him away.

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Our H’s leave the forest like so

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but for once they’ve got something good coming their way: Ron’s finally done it! The school is singing the fresh new Weasley is our King Remix and it’s the Gryffindors, because they’ve won the cup!

 

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Should the trio have told someone what happened to Montague?

Was Harry right to give the twins his money?

Should Hagrid have dragged Grawp back to Scotland?

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