Chapter Thirty-Five: Beyond the Veil
In chapter thirty-five of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry comes up with a plan under immense pressure, Neville and Luna step up, and Sirius meets his cousin again.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Because the Malfoy vocal chords are damaged and they can only talk in a drawl a solid 85% of the time, Lucius is drawling about giving him the prophecy, Pottah, while Harry’s all “but Sirius, tho?” while Bellatrix Lestrange decides now is the time to try out her baby-talk.
The Death Eaters are, as usual, with the exception of stone cold killer genius Bartemius Junz, IDIOTS, in twelve seconds they tell Harry that Sirius isn’t there and that they only care about getting the prophecy unharmed. Wow, way to give him total control over the situation, guys!
Bellatrix threatens to torture Ginny and Harry’s like so why does ole Voldyshorts want it while all the Death Eaters inhale into paper bags and recline on fainting couches. Harry, in case you were still mad at him about all the capslocking, goes full nuclear meltdown badass when he’s like “oh it bothers you I say his name when I’m a half-blood? Odd, since Tom Ridz is a half-blood too” and HOLY SHIT the amazing boldness of this moment cannot be overstated.
We see that the prophecies, if hit, will break open and say their prophecy regardless of who hits it and it’s time for me to be super annoying. OK. We know Voldemort wants this prophecy. The Order knows that. And for some reason the Order cannot or will not let Harry just stroll in and take it one random Tuesday. Fine, let’s say that’s illegal. But why doesn’t someone from the Order sneak into the Department of Mysteries and SMASH the prophecy with a spell? Someone that’s oh, say, the most powerful wizard of all time?
Back to our regularly scheduled programming! Harry comes up with a plan on the fly while simultaneously having a snark off with the Death Eaters which is way better then his friends are doing, and our sextet smash the shelves and run off, Luna, Ginny, and Ron leaving the other three for dead.
What?! That’s what happens!
Harry found the way ahead clear and saw Ron, Ginny, and Luna sprint past him, their arms over their heads.
I’m just saying! HermzHarr are the only ones who worry about Neville’s slow ass. Speaking of…the Death Eaters split off and Malfoy names a bunch of names of Death Eaters who are present but again no Goyle, this time of the Senior persuasion(we’ll get back to that later) and Harry, Hermione, and Neville do some attacking, get attacked, and Neville’s wand and nose are broken and Hermione is unconscious and nearly dead.
Ron, Ginny, and Luna show up and–fine I’ll say it. Ginny, who only has a broken ankle, is somehow more useless then Ron in the next battle even though his brains are scrambled and he’s bleeding from the mouth. Luna is helpful and someone put some respect on that girl’s name! After no one wanted to bring her!
Ron causes a distraction by playing with some brains, Luna gets knocked out locking doors, and Ginny gets knocked out from her place screaming uselessly on the floor.
That leaves our boy Harry, who smartly runs off with the prophecy away from his friends and…Neville, who stupidly but extremely bravely tries to help Harry with Hermione’s wand and a broken nose. But don’t worry, all of these interesting, suspenseful, and heroic scenes will be cut from the movie in order to watch smoke trails smoke around cinematically!
What I’m saying is, the only reason Order of the Phoenix isn’t far and away the worst movie adaptation of the books is because Half-Blood Prince exists.
Neville’s immediately caught, tortured by Bellatrix, and Harry almost hands over the prophecy in exchange for Neville’s release when Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, and Moody show up and KICK ASS.
I just want to point out? Five Order members versus ten Death Eaters. Five versus ten! And yet they don’t get their asses handed to them immediately!
Sirius in particular kicks a lot of ass and DOESN’T CALL HARRY JAMES, MOVIE while Neville and Harry attempt to escape but smash the prophecy by accident instead.
Dumbledore shows up and here is where the book tricks the hell out of you. You see Dumbledore and immediately think, like Harry and Neville, that everyone is saved. Our heroes will win again. And then Sirius taunts Bellatrix, neither of them noticing Dumbles is there, and she kills him when he’s distracted.
Harry’s in absolute denial, Lupin is trying to tell him the truth, and everything hurts.
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Where does Harry telling the Death Eaters that Voldemort is a half-blood rank on the badass scale to you?
Why doesn’t the order just smash the prophecy?
What are your thoughts on the movie depiction of the Battle of the Department of Mysteries vs the books?
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