Chapter Nine: The Half-Blood Prince
In chapter nine of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Harry is suddenly a potions whiz due to a mysterious book, Slughorn proves not all Slytherins hate Muggle-borns, and Snape sets himself up for the flambe of all time.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Ron and Hermione are being willfully obtuse about Malfoy being suspicious some more because they want me to bang my head repeatedly against a wall. Or maybe, for reasons unknown, they’re trying to trigger CAPSLOCK!Harry?!
McG makes a cameo to help boost Neville’s self-esteem (love you McG!) and to tell PotzWeaz that they can take potions now that Snape isn’t there insisting they need an O to continue. Not that this is the most pressing issue, but why, exactly, is Snape allowed to insist only “O” students can continue Potions, when “E” is an excellent grade, and also this effects the rest of these kids lives? Also, why doesn’t he insist on everyone having an “O” for Defense Against the Dark Arts?
Another minor quibble…how come Harry’s made Quidditch Captain over Katie Bell, who has been on the team longer and is older?
Brace yourself, it’s Snape time! He’s teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts like he’s in romantic love with the Dark Arts, and–OK it is freaking hilarious that Malfoy is taking this subject, no? As per usual, Snape is teaching without actual helpful instruction, just a lot of “do this, dunderheads” without explanation as to HOW. And people say Hagrid is a bad teacher?!
And then. Oh man. You all know it’s coming. Perhaps Harry’s finest burn of all time. The roastiest of insults. And Snape set it up himself! Who’s the dunderhead now, eh?
But of course, say it with me, the movie has cut this wonderful moment for no reason. In fact, this movie has basically cut all of the magic lessons except for one (ONE!) with Slughorn. You know, the movie about a boy wizard going to wizard school, where he never actually attends wizard lessons.
After Hermione is a buzzkill about Harry’s fine, delicious bbq of Snape Harry enters The Twilight Zone: a Potions class where Malfoy is ignored and he’s the favorite. Also? He’s borrowing a book that makes him the best in Potions…further proving what a horrendous teacher Snape is that his old potions book makes Harry a whiz at Potions, but his actual instruction makes almost everyone terrible at potions. In long, fuck Snape some more.
There’s another wonderful Harry moment where Slughorn realizes the genius Muggle-born Harry mentioned is Hermione and Malfoy and the mysterious Nott snicker like racist assholes and wait for Slughorn, a Slytherin, to barf in his mouth that he complimented a Muggle-born and instead he’s all
“Oho! ‘One of my best friends is Muggle-born, and she’s the best in our year!‘ I’m assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke, Harry?”
“Yes, sir,” said Harry.
“Well, well, take twenty well-earned points for Gryffindor, Miss Granger,” said Slughorn genially.
Hermione FINALLY gets some due from a Slytherin for being a genius and awesome!
Hermione’s gotta be Hermione though, and her mania for upholding the rules possesses her again when Harry tries to tell her to follow the Prince’s tips instead of Slughorn’s and she stubbornly refuses. Oh, Hermz.
Ginny 2.0 shows up to rage at Harry for “listening to a book” which…er…Gin, this is not the same thing at all, and Harry discovers the book belongs to the “Half-Blood Prince” which, as loathe as I am to ever compliment Snape, is actually kind of a clever nickname he’s created for himself.
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Why is Harry Quidditch Captain?
Is “there’s no need to call me Sir” Harry’s greatest insult? If not, which is your fave?
Why does the movie cut out Snape’s plot, explaining, y’know, the actual Half-Blood Prince stuff?
Why doesn’t Hermione follow the book’s tips?
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