Chapter Twenty-Nine: Phoenix Lament
In chapter twenty-nine of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Harry tells everyone the book six spoiler before a troll can, Molly and Fleur kiss and make up, and Tonks makes me pull my hair out.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Hagrid, proving yet again that Harry should’ve named a kid after him, tries to lead Harry away from Dumbledore’s corpse but he doesn’t leave until Ginny 2.0 takes him to the Hospital Wing and the awful discovery that Bill’s been maimed by Greyback.
Harry tells the gathered group, including Lupin, that Snape killed Dumbledore so they don’t get spoiled by some douche in a car at a midnight book opening.
Remus is finally, FINALLY like “well I did kind of find stuff about Snape suspicious” instead of pretending he’s all noble about their horrible history, and then Harry’s like “yeah Dumbles said Snape turned good because of the remorse he felt for snitching on my parents” while Remus does this:
Question, y’all. If Lily and Snape were openly BFF’s for five years until the Mudblood incident, how come Remus doesn’t believe Snape feels remorse over her death?
Everyone blame themselves for trusting Snape in turn, and then Harry somehow restrains himself from slapping Ron and Hermione in the face while wearing a tea cozy emblazoned with “I told you so” on it whilst dancing naked when he talks about how Malfoy is behind the Death Eaters getting in the school.
Harry grills everyone for every tiny detail of what happened to stoke his hatred of Snape like the relatable character that he is, and then. Ooooh boy. Molly, Fleur and Arthur show up and Molly shows her ass immediately by being like “nooo my poor handsome son now he’s going to get dumped by that shallow French floozy I hate” and Fleur is the “the FUCK you say, lady?” Look y’all, I needed this moment from JKR where Fleur is “redeemed” because the treatment of her was just too much and this beautiful moment where Fleur is like “biiiiitch I’m hot enough for us both Bill is going to love me and marry me no matter what” is perfect. Molly finally grows up and accepts Fleur and they hug it out and thank you Molly, for finally going back to your awesome self of the first three and a half books! I want to love you!
But I can’t have this happy moment, because what is perhaps my least favorite thing in this book happens next. So like I said, on first read of the books I wasn’t a huge fan of Tonks and her whimsiquirkiliciousness, I found her kind of boring. Then this book came around and she was acting all mysterious and I got intrigued by her. THEN we find out her “mousy brown hair,” her moping, her crying, her acting like she doesn’t give a shit about almost anyone is because of some bullshit angst between her and Remus. Which she brings up over Bill’s sick bed. If front of like ten people. Right after everyone just found out about Dumbledore being murdered by Snape, their alleged ally. Tonks why do you hurt me like this! I know it’s REMUS LUPIN and he’s awesome but why didn’t you just blast some angsty girl rock and drink martini’s like I told you to?! Even Ginny, a fourteen year old girl knew better and dated Michael Corner to get over Harry! Sigh.
So moving on, Harry refuses to tell McG what is what with his night time adventures with Dumbles, and Harry tells Ron and Hermione about R.A.B., which is certainly not one Regulus Black, Death Eater who died mysteriously many years ago after backing out of the organization!
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Why is Remus positive Snape wouldn’t feel remorse over Lily’s death?
How did you feel about the Remus/Tonks reveal?
Was Harry right to not tell McG about the Horcruxes?
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