Month: November 2018

We learn that at Hogwarts, your safety is entirely forfeit if you get detention. Just go in the forest and get eaten by a monster you little shits, see if McGonagall cares!

In chapter fourteen of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Hagrid puts our trio in danger for the first time, Malfoy’s a sneaky snitch, and Hermione freaks out about exams.

Snape continues acting suspicious, Neville stands up for himself, and I imagine Malfoy hilariously spending many hours writing insults in his dorm to use on the Gryffindors.

We find out the sad truth of what Harry would see in a mirror that shows his heart’s desire.

Hermione sets a teacher on fire, Lee Jordan somehow keeps his job despite his bias, and someone’s out to get Harry.

Malfoy continues being a thorn in Harry’s side, and we discuss how amusing a duel between them would be while McGonagall celebrates having a competent seeker.

We meet Snape in all his petty glory, and Quirrelldemort behaves suspiciously when he rescues Harry and Ron.

Harry gets sorted into Gryffindor, sparking a hundred “but what if he’d gone to Slytherin” fanfics and Dumbledore lets his freak flag fly.

We meet most of the delightful Weasleys and Harry is even sassier to Malfoy. Want more? Read Platform 9 and 3/4 with me!