Chapter Four: The Leaky Cauldron
In chapter four of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Hermione gets a cat, Percy gets teased, and Harry doesn’t really care that a mass murderer is out to kill him.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
For the first time in his life Harry’s got some freedom. He learns the most glorious secret that everyone who goes off to college finds out: few things are more amazing then having total control over when you wake up, what you eat, and what you do. Harry gallivants all over Diagon Alley footloose and fancy free, buying school stuff, writing homework while eating ice cream, stopping himself from spending all his money on a fancy new broomstick…
Harry resists buying this expensive broom because he’s a very mature thirteen year old (although I do wonder how much the Firebolt is if they won’t even list the price) and we find out the crazy potentially Malfoy killing book Hagrid sent Harry for his birthday is his new textbook for Care of Magical Creatures. While there he spots another book about death omens on the cover that show a black dog, quite similar to what was surely not his secret godfather in animagus form hiding from the law but is allegedly a grim.
He runs into Ron and Hermione eventually, and we get our first serious part in a million part series: Hermione’s Nameless Muggle Parents Are In the Way, Quick Let’s Get Rid of Them when we find out she’s staying at the Leaky Cauldron with Ron’s family for the last day before school. I’ve always chocked up the Granger’s constant absence in Hermione’s life as plot contrivance, otherwise it’s kind of depressing to think about, as the alternative options are that the Grangers are either neglectful of Hermione or that she feels no closeness to them. Now that I’ve been a Debbie Downer, we learn for the first time that Hermione is taking a crazy amount of classes, and that Scabbers is feeling a bit off color.
I pause to giggle immaturely at the differences in American and British slang when the witch working in the pet shop tells Ron to “bang him on the counter” concerning Scabbers before Crookshanks pounces on him, and Hermione buys Crookshanks because she’s really into squash faced gingers that no one else loves. (I kid, I love Ron!)
The Weasley’s show up to hang around the Leaky Cauldron for some random reason, but maybe it’s because Ron and Harry crashed the car and got it lost in the Forbidden Forest, and Ginny’s awkwardness around Harry has only amplified since the events of last year.
Percy tries to be nice to Harry but can’t help how incredibly pompous he is, and as much as I like to defend Percy, he’s really ridiculous in a spectacular way here.
Give this family a reality show, stat. Weasley’s Wacky Witches and Wizards, featuring Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and the ghoul in the attic!
However I will stick up for Percy here, when he simply asks why the Ministry is providing cars for the family (which is totally a valid question!) this happens:
This is mean for no reason, and everyone thinks it’s funny except Percy’s mom. And it’s a good question! With an important answer, that Mr. Weasley lies about. #JusticeforPercy
So dinner’s over, Ron and Percy are having a ridiculous fight that’s actually instigated by Fred and George, and Harry overhears Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley loudly arguing over some top secret ministry information about Sirius Black and maybe cast a muffling charm next time, guys?! Anyway, poor Harry finds out a mass murdering psychopathic follower of Voldemort is posing as his best friend’s pet rat–I mean, broke out of Azkaban to kill him–and he kind of
I suppose when Voldemort has tried to kill you three times now you get a little jaded about attempts on your life. It’s this kind of spirit that makes me love Harry so much, and wish I could channel him more often. Someone’s out to get me?
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Have you experienced the joy of being in control of every aspect of your life?
Why are Hermione’s parents always disappearing?
Am I the only one who thinks George and Fred are unnecessarily mean to Percy in this chapter?
How would you react to the news Sirius Black is after you?
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