Chapter One: Dudley Demented
In chapter one of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry saves Dudley from a dementor, I discuss Angry!Harry, and Mrs. Figg is revealed to be not what she seems.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
I distinctly remember getting this book. I was feeling under the weather, so my dad went out and got it for me when it was released and brought it home, and I attempted (and failed) to read it in one sitting. Never before had a Harry Potter book inspired such wild emotions in me. Let’s get to it.
Harry’s gotten a lot taller (but not poor Daniel Radcliffe, RIP tall book Harry) and he’s taken to lying in dying flowerbeds to listen to the news, because he assume some sort of typical wizard ridiculousness will show up on the Muggle news if Voldemort is popping off.
Newsanchor: Today we have reports of men in Halloween costumes approaching strangers and boring them into comas with speeches on a new cult that revolves around worshipping snakes…
Harry’s looking scruffy because his clothes are all dirty and holey and shit because the Dursley’s should’ve been reported to the police for their rampant child neglect but no one has done it yet because…?
Seriously, why hasn’t Hermione at least picked up a phone and called in an anonymous tip about a bunch of ogres abusing their orphan nephew? We all know Dumbledore’s too busy polishing his “I’m the best savior ever” trophy to care.
Harry, because the venn diagram between me and him overlaps mightily, rolls his eyes when he hears the Dursley’s insipid conversation about him and their foolery in believing that Dudley, a teenage boy of fifteen, is actually having tea with his friends all the time. Tea. TEA.
We get our first sign that Sassy Harry is here, and he’s not about to play, when the Dursley’s discover him hiding under the window after a loud crack of what sounded like apparation happens and Harry responds:
Oh, Harry!
Harry doubles down by saying it’s news to him that the Dursley’s aren’t stupid, and someone pass me the smelling salts! I cannot handle how amazing Sassy Harry is!
But all this sass gives way to Harry moodily swinging and thinking about what BS it is that no one’s keeping him in the loop when he’s the one who saw Voldemort come back and he’s the one who saw Cedric die. I’m full of unpopular opinions and here’s my top one for Order of the Phoenix: I don’t mind Angry, Capslock!Harry. Not only do I not mind him, but I don’t think he’s wrong to be angry. I think he’s completely justified, and frankly, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long and this many years of abuse under the Dursley’s to develop anger issues at all.
But I’ll get into that more when he starts screaming at Ron and Hermione. So Harry does what any reasonable teenager with anger issues would do and confronts Dudley, who has recently been beating up children and taunts him. I’ve always felt this chapter is a clear indication by JKR that Harry is different, Harry has a new aspect of his personality, and frankly, I find it makes Harry more human to me.
Harry gets in some good zingers before Dudley drops an atomic bomb and mocks him for having nightmares about Cedric. HPotz snaps, pulls out his wand, and at this horrible moment, dementors appear and attack them. It’s a testament to how decent of a human Harry fundamentally is that his first thought and concern is protecting the soul of the cousin he was just fighting with.
Mrs. Figg shows up, and Harry gets another surprise…her cake didn’t even have to be stale all those times! Oh yeah, and she knows about magic.
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Do you remember the first time you read Order of the Phoenix?
What are your feelings on angry Harry?
On a scale of Lockhart to Einstein, how thick are the Dursley’s for not realizing Dudley isn’t drinking tea with his friends?
Why hasn’t anyone called the police on the Dursleys’ for child neglect?
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