Chapter Eighteen: Dumbledore’s Army
In chapter eighteen of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry is a great teacher, DOBBY returns to help, and Cho is my MVP.
(Please be advised that this is a reread and I will be discussing book and movie spoilers.)
Hermione’s points out to Harry mid charms lesson that Umbridge most likely read his mail
and attacked Hedwig
because really, the woman wants to make sure you hate every pink fiber on her body.
I’m also going to take this random moment to say that one thing I missed mightily in the movies (and one thing that could be adapted SO WELL in say, an HBO miniseries) is how random conversations with our heroes often take place during magic lessons. The first few movies did a pretty good job at incorporating magic lessons, which are one of the biggest draws of the entire series, that we’re reading a book about a wizard going to magic school but by the time we make it to movie six, hoo boy. We’ve got Wizardly Hills, 90210 and no magic to be seen. Dammit give me magic lessons! Let me weep that I was forced to take algebra 2 instead of practicing silencing charms on frogs!
So Angelina’s got permission to reform the Quidditch team, and Hermione is now questioning the entire idea of a secret magic defense group and HERMIONE. My darling. My love. My aspiration. My badass heroine who appreciates a book as much as I do.
Harry and Ron are rightfully outraged that y’know, the secret group was Hermione’s idea to begin with and now not only is she worried about it, but she’s slagging off on Sirius and dang it, Hermione! So okay, you have a point that Sirius is being reckless. But Harry is right too, in that Sirius has always given him great advice in the past, and also, the kitten’s out of the bag homey. You’ve already started the group and hexed everyone! Sigh.
Harry suffers through a rainy Quidditch practice where I get way too much enjoyment out of Fred and George talking about their pus-filled ass boils and then Harry’s scar’s a-burning, and he realizes he’s been detecting old Voldy’s moods for some time now while Ron’s like
at this revelation. Poor HPotz falls asleep doing homework and my sweet prince, DOBBY, appears!
He’s wearing all of Hermione’s knitted stuff at once, maybe because he’s channeling me freezing my ass off last fall in Europe…
It’s so cold in Carcassonne right now that I had to buy a hat. Asked husband if it looked ok and he told me I looked like Hermione in the sixth movie. Highest compliment of my life. pic.twitter.com/RORhJ2XCbY
— Hermione’s Library (@HSecretLibrary) October 28, 2018
…or maybe cause the other house elves are refusing to clean Gryffindor due to Hermione insulting them with the hidden clothes and Hermz, we told you that was a bad idea!
Moving on, because KING DOBBY is here to warm my heart! He’s like “yeah I was cleaning these dorms and you know how stank pubescent teenagers are Harrz, and I did it all to see you, btw here’s your owl and I’m concerned you’re having nightmares what can I do to help” while I weep and wish for my own Dobby.
Harry’s like waitaminute actually Dobby, do you know of a secret giant room we can hide from Umbridge and practice spells in and dang it movie for turning Neville into Dobby and taking this moment away from me!
Hermione questions Dobby’s plan because she is trying to cause my pain by questioning my faves this chapter, and then our meeting commences!
Lavender shows up and I forgot to mention this in “In the Hog’s Head” but wtf is Lavender doing here? Wasn’t she as skeptical about Harry as Seamus was? How did she come round? Anyway!
Cho is MVP when she not only insists Harry’s the obvious leader, but comes up with the name (yeah Ginny makes it funnier but Cho is the originator of the D.A.) and also makes Harry giddy by acting dorky and nervous around him. Our LVP? C’mon, it’s obviously The Only Rude Hufflepuff, Zacharias Smith, who is like “I don’t need to learn this rubbish spell you tool” to Harry and then gets bitch smacked into next week when Harry’s like you mean the spell I used to defeat and escape from Voldemort a few months ago?
We find out early on that Harry’s a great teacher, and even helps Neville learn some confidence which is something a teacher should do, SNAPE. What I’m saying is, Harry should’ve totally become Hogwart’s Defense Against the Dark Arts professor instead of an Auror.
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Is Hermione right to question if the DA is a good idea?
Why is Lavender attending the DA meetings?
What job should Harry have gotten after Hogwarts?
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