In chapter fourteen of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets we meet the hapless Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, Oliver Wood cries in a dark corner for seventeen hours straight when Quidditch is cancelled, and we meet Lucius Malfoy’s fabulous hair bow.
In chapter thirteen of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry’s eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, a mysterious diary is thrown through Myrtle’s head, and Lockhart is probably beaten by Snape with a Valentine’s cookie or something.
In chapter twelve of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry talks to the sorting hat, Ron almost punches out Malfoy whilst disguised as Crabbe, and Hermione becomes Catwoman.
In chapter eleven of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry helps steal potions from Snape, duels Malfoy, reveals he talks to snakes, and continues to not recognize his classmates.
In chapter ten of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry breaks his arm, our trio gets a restricted book for the first time, and Harry is forced to act out parts of Lockhart’s books with him.
In chapter nine of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets badass Hermione makes her first appearance, Binns actually has someone listen to him, and we learn more about the Chamber of Secrets.
In chapter eight of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Wood continues to train the Gryffindors come rain, shine, or tornado, everyone’s sick including me, and our trio attends a very cool party that’s #CutForTime out of the movie.
Harry continues to be tormented by the trio of nuisances: Gilderoy Lockhart, Colin Creevey, and Draco Malfoy, and only two of them are funny.
Gilderoy Lockhart teams up with Colin Creevey to irritate Harry and Ron gets a Howler.
In chapter five of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry and Ron steal a car, fly it for hours, and crash it into a tree instead of y’know, waiting two minutes for Mr. or Mrs. Weasley to come back and help them get to Hogwarts. In other words, a typical PotzWeaz adventure that the very presence of one Hermione Granger would’ve solved.